Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Landing feeeet first

If my world falls down tomorrow, I'll be sure to be there with a net to catch the pieces falling.....

I've been thinking for a while and I'm fine with where I'm at now. And I'm so proud of where I am. This is just how things are for me and that's not gonna change. Sure I bruise easily but bruises heal as well as cuts I wont hide the marks but ink is forever so I must be careful in what I do to myself [cause I know people with some reminders they could have lived without]. I already have the start to putting my heart on my left side. I can truly only rely on myself. I'll always be there for me, myself and I. So I gotta make the effort to remember, because anyone who can touch you can hurt you or can heal you.. anyone who can reach you can love you or leave you. If I never let down my guard took that leap of faith I would have never of known... Sure the mark is still there but it's fading. Sometimes quicker one day than the next but each day I see change, with change comes knowledge and from knowledge comes strength. I'll cut my ties to the world for a while. but through knowledge comes time to learning it and that's where i am now. my friends I'm sorry about my moods the last few months, but I'm not sorry for this one it's what I gotta do for a while. this while just might last forever. the old me is back. that sarcastic tell you how it is bluntmouthed stubborn as all get out nerdy little shit everyone..somehow loves. so here I am now today stronger than ever. happier? not completely yet but that will come with time, when that time is I'm not fully sure and I don't want to know. I just want it to hit me one day out of the blue like the many things in my life that spontaneously happen. with old friends lost..that have forgotten,, new will be made. some replaced but never kicked to the curb like I've been time and time again sometimes more than once by the same person... now this new friend thing isn't really a negative thing well maybe but I kinda don't care. I'm learning to fall with no safety net. I'm feeling better than ever; distancing. I've forgotten how it feels. one day everything shall be as it should, and I think it's starting to happen. The tiny pieces are finally settling :) I figure it's time to move on. I'm 20, I and I we're taking control of our lives. Blood in blood out. Out of sight, out of mind. It's forever so like nobody reads these, but I really could care less


The people I've met are the wonders of my world..

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