blood in, blood out

No matter how low you seem to fall...theres someone out there even lower. No matter how alone you feel...theres someone out there with absolutely nobody......No matter how sad you are, theres someone out there who has never experienced happiness, joy or ǝʌol.

No matter how alone you feel...

im always here;

blood in. ˙ʇno poolq

.ɹǝʌǝɹoɟ

The point;

And I am to the point where I don't even wanna know where you are. Or where you're going ..same old story. And I am to the point where I don't even wanna see your face anymore. Your so far gone. I don't wanna live with regrets. Wonder why my life is a mess. But now without you by my side. I never felt so alive. I'm so glad I left you behind. Manage me, I'm a mess turn a page, I'm a book half unread. I'm stuck in this fucking rut waiting on a second hand pick me up. And maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year..and I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere. This is my reaction to everything I fear cause i've been going crazy I dont wanna waste another minute. This could be everything I dont wanna dream anymore.

Your unlike any other;

you'll always be my thunderr

go ahead and work it out but first let it outtt

woohoo

anime!!

if you dont like it..2 words:

fuck.you.

My GusGus;

Hmm...so rats are interesting.

UPDATE: GusGus the Rat likes bread. lol and chewing on my laptop....fucker

He's sooo cute!

Before you come to conclusions..

Hmm I've sort of noticed that on these blogs..I say what I'm feeling that exact moment...don't take any of these as if I mean them the next day, because truthfully..I don't. Usually.. the Drake one YESSSSSSS lol always and forever will I feel that way about the fag... Lol. But peeps don't jump to conclusions. My blogs are strictly subjective to my mood at the time.


=]

Like a teardrop hitting the ground;

Why and how you had the heart to fuck up my whole life. That's just so you. And now I've moved on by myself, and maybe I won't forgive..I'll just forget you lived. And I hope it hurts. You taught me how to hate you..and I was so in love. When I tried to save us it wasn't enough. So what the hell is different'..cause now that I am gone, this is how it feels and now you know what its like. I'm faded into someone else. My true color's gone, like a picture nobody sees. I bet you don't even know my favorite song..I don't wanna be your little picture-perfect-pretty-girl. Who's got nothing to say, and I'm not gonna wait around for you to run my whole life down. I'll let you watch me fade away. I'm tired and alone, feeling so misplaced. Guess I know I'm better off on my own. You had all the chances in the world to let me know the truth..what the hell's wrong with you? Nothing can save you now that it's over. I guess that you'll find out when you're no one..don't say you're sorry now 'cause I just don't care. I'm having the day from hell, I should have kicked your ass instead. Everything is fucked up straight from the heart. Tell me what do you do, when everything falls apart? You had to leave and I'm not part of your plan. You're never wrong..Somewhere in the right seems to be where your ass belongs. You'd rather fight than walk away..what a lonely way to breathe the air..what an unlovely way to say you care. Now we're too far gone for me to save and I never thought that we'd come to this. Maybe there's beauty in goodbye. The person now that you claim to be doesn't know when to stop, or where to start. You're just so caught up in who you are. I don’t ever wanna feel this way again. Nothing seems to matter anymore. At any moment in you could have tried to make it right. Now in an after thought I don't know what you did it for cause you were thinking about you. Like always. Give me one good reason why in time i should believe in you. But it's been a real pleasure knowing you...and now like a teardrop hitting the ground I don't wanna see you around--ever.

And your left to burn with you heart wide open;

This is how it feels

When you wait for a call that never comes

Are you waking up 'cause you miss someone?

This is how it feels

When the trust you had is broken,

And your left to burn with your heart wide open

Friend was your name..

It would've hurt a lot worse......

When you ripped my heart from my chest

...If I wasn't already dead from the knife in my back..

Reminder: your still very single and very alone;

It so strange, but it's like suddenly, all my friends have been hit with a 'relationship-epidemic' I mean forget the swain flu, this epidemic is snatching them in unmerciful numbers.
But seriously, the scariest thing about all this, is that when I was visiting my friend, it seemed like she was a totally different person. She and her boyfriend were holding hands as though they couldn't even breathe without each other. I mean; they had been together for almost 8months, and I mean literally seen and been together 24/7 for 8 months! Anyway, these are two of my former classmates, who also formerly used to be two separate and independent human beings. But unfortunately due to the epidemic, have now developed many symptoms, for example the excessive use of such sentences as 'we that' and 'we this'.

Members of the jury, you must understand that my childish outburst is a consequence of something stronger and darker than common pettiness and jealousy, these are all fruits of the big D,..Depression. I feel as though it’s also important to keep in mind that prior to these events; I was perfectly fine with my life, with my so called 'oneness'. I will however not rule out the fact that this could clearly be due to the fact that my 'oneness' was only endurable because of my fellow friends, who also shared in this now so uncommon status. I fear they have all deserted me for the more glamorized 'togetherness' status. It's kind of like that Simpsons episode where Bart sells his soul, and suddenly he could see all the other kids having so much fun with their souls and how much harder life was for him now that he was all alone, something he hadn't even noticed before.

Basically it's junior high prom all over again; you and all your girl friends are sitting at the bench watching the other couples dancing, and commenting on this and that, when suddenly one by one, they get asked to dance and before you know it, there you are; Little you with your ridiculously over accessorized dress, sitting there all alone, trying so hard not to look bothered, because just a few minutes ago you didn't mind sitting on the bench, but now that you are there all alone, and noticing that even greasy Alice the farter with all the questionable facial hair is also getting her groove on with Tommy the nose licker,..well.. it then becomes a bit hard to hold back the tears now doesn't it?

I haven’t resolved to crying yet, honestly, I only believe in such therapy as watching Bridget Jones' Diary and blogging about my problems,oh, and forming 'relationship-hate' groups who wait outside cinemas every Sundays and attack random couples.. haha i'm kidding, here at well here.. we don't condone violence...just happy slapping. Lmao but seriously, it's just a bit sad you know,.. I mean I enjoy being single as the next person but I’m just not into the in your face constant reminder, forcing me to comfort myself with such nonsense as 'Well at least I don't have to share my Twix bars'

What about you guys? What are your feelings on this unavoidable epidemic?

A brand new day in a life that you hate;

Karma. =]

K. Got it.

The boy who blocked his own shot;

So call it quits, or get a grip. Say you wanted a solution, you just wanted to be missed.

Happy now? After everything thats happened things surely have gone the way you wanted. Surely you should be happy. You always seem to get what you want, and you got it. I'm past sick and tired. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired from your ever so predictable moods. Get a grip kid. Whats meant to be will find its way. But as of late, its obviously not meant to be. How hard could this possibly be to grasp? You had your chances. Believe me, I even saw them. But like a child you threw them away. With people things aren't set in stone, I figured you would be the one to know this. I guess I was wrong, again. When I said lets keep in touch, I meant I wish you'd grow up. I knew this day would come. It's taken me weeks to realize that day was ages ago. But at least I've realized it. Put your brains to good use...you have them for a reason y'kno. Your life isn't over son. So do us all a favor, cut the self pity bullshit. I hope you find out what you are. You are second hand smoke.

It's super annoying.

Used to be;

cool, fun, sexy and easy to talk to. Had a great sense of music, every song was brilliant. Its like you let drama control your life. The songs you present flat out suck. Its sad and pathetic. Self pitys meaningless and frankly, it pisses me off. Good god some people need to get a grip.



Do us all a favor; fall off earth.

Man up son.

I miss the way you love me too much.

This hand we're dealt

It's ridiculously crazy how people fall apart. Whats the difference when it comes down? Whether it's girls or guys....I guess this is "growing up"..? I was quite content where I was before. It felt safe. Endless broken promises, and the lies...are like the never ending story. Everythings changing now. I was high like a star flying. But it's alright. That goodbye was weak. And ruined by a certain...issue like always. The same one. But it't okay. Thats the universe right?...And thats how things go for me.

We could live like kings. We could live in doubt.
❥i had high hopes of silver and gold.
It’s up to me and the heart on my sleeve....That hasn’t quite been the same


You know I love you but I feel so one in ten.

Lightening comes and lightening goes.

its all the same to me

no one understands.

release into one.thousand pieces I have broke into, over you.

if the sun dont shine tomorrow, we'll be alright.

you and me, we're alike

did you get what you wanted?

everythings changing now

h**a

A**y***t

am

ashy

her.

how can i call your bluff?

Wuffie

yo this kid got way hot. holyy shiiiiiiit son! fuckkkkkkk!

enjoiii rere =]

hmm..not that your gay lol or anything haha

lol

"raising the bar"

enjoi lol

Find me

South of heaven, west of hell.

I'll be there

=]

She's been drinkin again and she's ready to fight

Yo, she doesn't give a fuck. Gettt over it.

K..? Let the girl be happy shit. Slit your wrists already or something. But, songs don't get people back. Let her live her own damn life without regret. If things were meant to be, then they woulda been.

Unfortunately, we believed every word you said.

Boys like you are overrated. So save your breath.

You know hoes, so get to it son. .






I hate the way you say my name like it's something secret..My pen is the barrel of the gun.

"Cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains I went through to avoid you, and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention I still hate you"

Stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me. Hide the details I don't want to know a thing. I wish that I was as invisible as you make me feel.

Sometimes, I wish.

Isn’t it great to find that you’re really worth nothing?

Emo kids...lord.

Excuse my mood my nigga, but

I feel a bit decepticon;

I ain't gotta tell ya' I'm kinda like a big kiddddddd.

=]

lmao

When you fall in love with her, tell her

Tell her you think shes cool. Tell her why you think shes so cool. Smell her hair. Talk to her in movie theatres. Pick her up and pretend youre going to throw her in the river; shell scream and fight you but secretly, she`ll love it. Hold her hand and skip. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other peoples gardens and give them to her. Tell her she's pretty. Let her pay if she wants to. Introduce her to your friends as The coolest girl you know. Sit in the park and talk to her. Just talk to her. Take her to the library Take her anywhere. Tell her dirty jokes. Tell her happy stories. Tell her sad stories. Tell her your stories. Tell her anything. Tell her stupid jokes. Write poems about her. Just walk with her. Throw pebbles at her window When she starts swearing at you, ... tell her you love her. Take her to shows of bands shes never heard of. Hold her hand in the mosh pit. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her. Call her back if she calls you. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Carve your names into a tree. Get her mad, then kiss her. Give her piggy-back rides. Go see her band play even if they really suck, and tell her they were great. Give her space if she needs it. Push her on swings. Stay up with her all night when shes sick. Make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones. Teach her guitar. Lend her your cds. Write on her. Write about her. Make her mixtapes. Write her letters. Take her to cool shops, and let her take you to even cooler ones. Just hang out with her. Listen to all the bands she mentions. Dont tell her that her favorite bands suck. When shes sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything. Buy her ice cream. Let her take all the photos of you she wants. Look into her eyes. Slow dance with her, Love her. Be yourself around her. Cherish her.... and when you fall in love with her, tell her.

futbol

Fabio Cannavaro

Christiano Ronaldo

Guillermo "Memo" Ochoa

Michael Owen

andddd

Cesc Fabregas



are pretty hot guys.

trust me. lol

Just a poor man's Wendy

He said they were just friends. Deep down, I knew better. And I was a stand-in.



Stupid ass memory banks.

Oh, is it love

"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritablew or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love is forever…"

Falling in love and staying in love are completely separate events. falling in love is an addictive exciting and headspinning chemical affair. but staying in love is a whole different story. we dont fall in love with other people; we fall in love with the feelings we get when we are with or think about them: the spiritual and emotional awakening, the joy of feeling safe and warm and full of hope…the feeling of completeness-the thrill.

"in our lover we seek and desire that which we do not have.."

Certain people balance us and make us feel complete socially and psychologically, while others make us feel insecure and tired, killllll our selfconfidence or turn us into someone we are not.boyyyy do i know someone like this. a total crazy person.. anyways people in vibrant long term relationships are obviously aware that they complement each other rather than antagonize one another. if you end up competing or criticizing and trying to change each other after the chemistry wears off your future together is limited.

"life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but looking outward together in the same direction.."

When you meet the right person who balances and completes you, the one you trust and feel comfortable with you have found your matched opposite. Being with this person is simultaneously an indescribable joy and enorrrrrmous relief. He or she will be like you in many ways but your opposite in certain key areas, and its highly likely youll have a happy >>>>[committed] and loving long term relationship. We don't just need someone just for companionship for safety or for convenience..we have a need to express ourselves emotionally and intellectually we all need someone who we can trust to talk to share our experiences and bounceee our ideas off…we want someone with whom we can share lives pleasures and most imporrrrtant someone to give us feedback-to respond to what we say and let us know how were doing. We need someone to witness us validate us…make us feel complete. This is why we need someone. I've noticed when two people communicate openly and regularly…expressing their feelings and emotions they give each other reassurance and hope and a connection to the future..good relationships come easily.

...Familiarity and friendship aren't enough to sustain a romantic relationship..it takes something more..

Love takes many forms. Theres the love we feel for our parents..(siiike), our siblings and our friends..but even setting aside this kind of familial and platonic love theres the romantic love..ahh there are still so many variations..

Theres more you meet plenty of people who are charming, hot, seem perfect, and are exciting but they may not be right for you…Just because you meet someone you like but its not working the way you'd hoped and you don't feel a clear sense its not right let the relationship go, hunnie trussst me haha. Send the wrong signals or use the wrong words and the whole thing can fall as fast as it began even if the potential is there.

love is knowing what the other person wants without even asking…its like a river flowing between two hearts…

as for compliments…give them. but compliments only work when they are sincere and not fabricated for the moment. REMEMBER AND DONTTT FORGETTTT..and guys it's important to not only ask questions but also to volunteer free information lol forreal..people who don't give feedback appear bored, boring or baffling…

True love is a unique blend of attraction, intimacy, commitment, and romance. It's completely well..utterly personal and happens differently for everyoonnnneee. For some the moment it strikesss is easy to pinpoint; for others its less obvious. some notice a definite moment when suddenly everything changes; for others…it's more of a flow …a gradual tide of change. Emotional people tend to admit love more quickly than their more rational counterparts even if the seeds were sown at the same time. Love doesn't happen on command. It's a process that flown it's a seed that grows..its a spark that turns into a flame.Love aint about forcing it. Its' about letting it go and let life and love transpire in their own creative surprising way, it's about having faith in yourself..in life..and in the person you love.

But we all know, along with the thrill of new love, comes the potential for heartbreak.

The girl made lovely by sorrow;

She looked at him and with a tear in her eye she said, "I'm gone, it isn't about you anymore. You took my heart..You knew all my tricks..you knew what would make my day. But..now its time to move on." She walked away not sure if he'd miss her or not, if he could only see she did it because she loved him..then he might understand. But that would only be a miracle. Days went by and she'd ignore him. It didn't even phase him. He didn't even know. Then one day, something clicked. He missed her, but she was too long gone. The one thing that he could trust, hold, and love was gone. He didn't realize that he had been feeding that fire oxygen.

I know in my heart trust is the mother of deceit

I'll hang my hopes all at once on a rope

There's a possibility that this is happening to someone who's not me

I'll hold my head

Keep it still and pretend

That these spins and the webs

Are actually desirable

If i suddenly went blind

Looking back at the past years...I have been thru change. Music is the only consistent thing that will every stay in my life, even when those I believe are closest to me fade away....A lot has happened in the last two or so years. Starting on a rainy day for me. Sometimes I wonder why, I'm so full of these endless rhymes about the way I feel inside, I wish sometimes. It always seems that just when I turn around another old memory hits me, it's never been my sole intention to bring peoples moods down with me it just sort of happens. Shit happens. I'm not exactly sure the last time I was happy. I know it's fun to pretend. Now blank stares and empty threats are all I have. All I do is fall down and I haven't gotten back up once. My whole world has gone up into flames, no bridge has survived except one, at least I think...I've tried and tried to tear this one down but it just wont go away. It's like the ever'hovering cloud that just follows me around. It's come to be like my shadow. I've done plenty of things to try and forget...and the things I've done. I've spoken mean words. Horrible things....thought worse things..The things we do just to keep ourselves alive. And for what? Nobody really ever knows what somebody is going thru. Everyone is different. Every situation unique. This is never what I wanted. But it's fun...to pretend. Empty threats are all I have. I cant escape if I wanted to. Now, I don't think of myself as trapped. Just...stubborn. I don't want to let go. Ohh, and I can be stubborn as hell when I care deeply about something. I don't believe myself to be selfish...The stars are aligned, But they don't align for us. I always watch the them..The stars are already dead they just don't know it yet. Just something about looking at death on that degree makes you feel closer. I haven't figured out what this "closer" is to...I often wonder how I end up this way; a constant knot in my gut, tied with uncertainty and loneliness. Sometimes I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs where I will pretend the echoes belong to someone. Someone I used to know. Someone I used to be. I want to remember a time when I knew how safe it felt to be safe, or what it feels like to know what it's like to be loved...I thought I knew once but I was wrong. I'm often misunderstood...maybe just a second chance. Just a tiny one. I don't ask for much, I expect nothing in return...I'm just hoping...that what I have been offered will be one of the things that pulls through. I've been let down so many times...and I don't know what I've done to get myself here. All I can ever do and will do is to open my heart and love those the way they are, because I'm not perfect either. Nothing close.

The stars are aligned,

But they don't align for us

Excuse me for I am the ocean

And I will starve for you

Will You Know How To Stay Brave?

Such Fragile moments we share

You Are My Everything

And Even With Nothing To Say

Geminis, K.

Landing feeeet first

If my world falls down tomorrow, I'll be sure to be there with a net to catch the pieces falling.....

I've been thinking for a while and I'm fine with where I'm at now. And I'm so proud of where I am. This is just how things are for me and that's not gonna change. Sure I bruise easily but bruises heal as well as cuts I wont hide the marks but ink is forever so I must be careful in what I do to myself [cause I know people with some reminders they could have lived without]. I already have the start to putting my heart on my left side. I can truly only rely on myself. I'll always be there for me, myself and I. So I gotta make the effort to remember, because anyone who can touch you can hurt you or can heal you.. anyone who can reach you can love you or leave you. If I never let down my guard took that leap of faith I would have never of known... Sure the mark is still there but it's fading. Sometimes quicker one day than the next but each day I see change, with change comes knowledge and from knowledge comes strength. I'll cut my ties to the world for a while. but through knowledge comes time to learning it and that's where i am now. my friends I'm sorry about my moods the last few months, but I'm not sorry for this one it's what I gotta do for a while. this while just might last forever. the old me is back. that sarcastic tell you how it is bluntmouthed stubborn as all get out nerdy little shit everyone..somehow loves. so here I am now today stronger than ever. happier? not completely yet but that will come with time, when that time is I'm not fully sure and I don't want to know. I just want it to hit me one day out of the blue like the many things in my life that spontaneously happen. with old friends lost..that have forgotten,, new will be made. some replaced but never kicked to the curb like I've been time and time again sometimes more than once by the same person... now this new friend thing isn't really a negative thing well maybe but I kinda don't care. I'm learning to fall with no safety net. I'm feeling better than ever; distancing. I've forgotten how it feels. one day everything shall be as it should, and I think it's starting to happen. The tiny pieces are finally settling :) I figure it's time to move on. I'm 20, I and I we're taking control of our lives. Blood in blood out. Out of sight, out of mind. It's forever so like nobody reads these, but I really could care less

The people I've met are the wonders of my world..

Man on the Moon

"..maybe if i was simple in the mind everything would be fine "

Things happen for a reason and theres always a reason why this would happen.. who knows, it could come back to her as karma or something like that..but there is always prettier and better girls out there.. this is where I get all quotey "where one door closes a better one opens/ the grass is greener on the other side..". You always have a choice. Now is your turn to take it for once...and maybe you guys werent meant to be.. dont let some girl drama get to you fool. therse probably a reason why she didnt make it in your life.. (insert unhappy face here)

thuglife