The Manual.
Il Manuale.
El manuelo.
Das Handbuch.
O Manual.
Le Manuel.
2011. 2nd Edition Part 2
--------------------------------------------------If Found Please Return To M.D or Ashley Nikole-------------------------------------
So, a little note about this.Just in case it confuses people and you're too goddamn lazy to read Het Handboek part 1. So some history you probably SHOULD have read if you creeped the first Het Handboek: This was supposed to be the 2nd edition (obviously lol) of the first Manuel. On surviving like, everything. Like life. Zombies.... and yeah everything random under the sun I thought was relative at the time. It's a very cute (jk totally MANLY) small black MOLESKINE journal thing. It was something to hopefully make a great guys day in case it was shitty (Afghanistan or if he was just bored as fuck), or to remind him how retarded I am. (duh, Mission Accomplished)...Anyways...if I never get the 1st Edition back I totally understand. It was TOOO EPICCCC for words! But yeah, I totally understand if he "forgets" to put it in the box if in fact...he sends the box. But whatever, anyways this is what the 2nd Edition contains:
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This is Part 2, as always...ENJOY!!
This is Part 2, as always...ENJOY!!
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Zombie
COMBAT
MANUAL For
WARRIORS
***Side Note: this was boxed in. Too hard to do on the computer.
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10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack:
Beware of bathrooms
#10
Always carry a weapon
10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack:
1. Organize before they rise.
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don't need reloading.
5. Ideal protection= tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up staircases. Then destroy them.
7. Get out of the car, get on the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert. Keep it the fuck down.
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.
***side note: then at the end I wrote Zombies in shaky, bleeding red letter style. It was pretty badass.
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Now for
THE RULES:
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#1
Cardio
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#2
The Double Tap
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#3
Beware of bathrooms
-----------------------------------------------------27
#4
Seatbelts
-----------------------------------------------------28
#5
Shoot first
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#6
Even though you are colorblind,
I'll still save ya
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#7
Incoming!
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#8
Break it up
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#9
...with your bare hands
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#10
Don't swing low
-----------------------------------------------------34
#11
Use your feet
-----------------------------------------------------35
#12
Travel light
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#13
Get a kickass partner
ya one man kinda woman
***side note: only one person would get this haha. It was a pretty epic phone convo.
-----------------------------------------------------37
#14
Avoid strip clubs
-----------------------------------------------------38
#15
When in doubt, know your way out.
-----------------------------------------------------39
#16
Check the backseat
-----------------------------------------------------40
#17
Enjoy the little things.
I am a little thing.
-----------------------------------------------------41
#18
Double knot your shoelaces
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#19
Always carry a weapon
-----------------------------------------------------43
#20
Learn the gun shops
& police stations...thats
where the guns are.
That wooden baseball bat
wont last forever.
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#21
Learn to drive...if you
dont already - go along
with #4
-----------------------------------------------------45
#22
Use your thumbs
ya monkey!
-----------------------------------------------------46
#23
Bounty paper (squiggles)
towels.
**side note: where it says squiggles I spazzed out and crossed out paper towels. Drew a line from squiggle to the bottom of the page and said TYPO. lol
-----------------------------------------------------47
#24
A little sarcasm never
hurt anybody
-----------------------------------------------------48
#25
Pack your stain stick
-----------------------------------------------------49
#26
Swiss army knife
-----------------------------------------------------50
#27
Its a marathon, not
a sprint. Unless its
a sprint, then sprint.
-----------------------------------------------------51
#28
The "skillet"
***side note: Don't actually know what the "skillet" is..but if your survival depends on it..I hope it saves you. Whatever "it" is.
-----------------------------------------------------52
#29
Shake it off
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#30
Have a kickass nickname.
Sexy isn't a kickass nickname btw.
-----------------------------------------------------54
#31
When this shit goes down
don't trust in the military.
The military would go bat shit crazy nuts
with all the power.
-----------------------------------------------------55
#32
Don't go to the
grocery store and
shit...
Yeah, that flatscreen looks
pretty sweet.....
til' the zombie smashes
your head through it.
-----------------------------------------------------56
#33
Listen to the little kids.
When things are getting
weird and the little kid
says they saw something?
The kid saw something.
-----------------------------------------------------57
#34
If you know how to sew,
make A LOT of
cargo pockets.
***Side note: then I proceeded to draw a needle and thread. Give me a break! So what it didn't look "PERFECT" haha.
-----------------------------------------------------58
#35
Remember, if this
were to happen, EVER,
this will not be a walk
in the park.. unless
you have part of the
Bloods or Crips in your
family...or..you just
like shootin.
-----------------------------------------------------59
#36
Race doesn't matter.
When was the last time
you saw a zombie pick
a black guy over a white
guy?
-----------------------------------------------------60
Disco Curtis sings a song
called
Ashley.
Escape the Fate
also has a song
called Ashley.
-----------------------------------------------------61
Injured?
-----------------------------------------------------62
"Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop"
is a fantastic song.
Its by Landon
Pigg
-----------------------------------------------------63
Get a GANGSTA
emblem.
**side note: This is where I drew the Wu Tang sign. C'mon...old school. I'm a boss.
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Anyways, thats all for tonight. Like I said before, if YOU are reading this...may it make you smile. Or smirk. Or do that sexy smolder look.
If you guys are on xbox. Add me :)
A5H Cheekz
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