Het Handboek!

The Manual.

                                                                 Il Manuale.

El manuelo.

Das Handbuch.

                     O Manual.

                       Le Manuel.

2011. 2nd Edition

--------------------------------------------------If Found Please Return To M.D or Ashley Nikole-------------------------------------

So, a little note about this.Just in case it confuses people. This was supposed to be the 2nd edition (obviously lol) of the first Manuel. On surviving like, everything. Like life. Zombies.... and yeah everything random under the sun I thought was relative at the time. It's a very cute (jk totally MANLY) small black MOLESKINE journal thing.  It was something to hopefully make a great guys day in case it was shitty (Afghanistan or if he was just bored as fuck), or to remind him how retarded I am. (duh, Mission Accomplished)...Anyways...if I never get the 1st Edition back I totally understand. It was TOOO EPICCCC for words! But yeah, I totally understand if he "forgets" to put it in the box if in fact...he sends the box. But whatever, anyways this is what the 2nd Edition contains:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It begins or starts...or whatever Mufasa said...or was it Rafiki? 
And did I spell Mufasa right? Oh well...haha

-----------------------------------------------------1

Do not wear Sensual Amber around

the caracal. He will turn into

one of those guys in the 

shower.

-----------------------------------------------------2

I cant actually say what this page said.

 It would make an Ex-Roomie mad if 

she reads this haha.Sorry folks.

-----------------------------------------------------3

When a man gives you 

gum (the packs) everyday,

MAKE SURE HE ISNT COURTING YOU. 

In your case cigarettes.

-----------------------------------------------------4

When yelling racist things 

on your porch at night,

make sure the front door

is bolted shut.

-----------------------------------------------------5

When in doubt, 

snoop a room....

or smack a

 bitch.

-----------------------------------------------------6

When taking photographs at night

be aware of random people

coming up to you for change.

-----------------------------------------------------7

When calling Andrew,

expect him 2 hours later.

2-3 usually, or NEVER.

-----------------------------------------------------8

If you find Hulk

in your fridge, be

advised that it might

just be raw chicken...

-----------------------------------------------------9

If somebody leaves food

in your apt. dont

worry, I love free food

too.

-----------------------------------------------------10

The male peafowl (peacock)

has a very fluffy ass.

...and they are 

really easy

to sneak up on.

-----------------------------------------------------11

Birds can beatbox

too.

(I drew little birds everywhere)

-----------------------------------------------------12

When surrounded by people

dont scream "squirrel".

-----------------------------------------------------13

Do not watch the 

movie Human Centipede.

-----------------------------------------------------14

You are not a cop when:

A. You work at Santa Fe College

B. You drive a golf cart

C. You DONT have a gun.

-----------------------------------------------------15

Remember, the trunk

of your car does

not doouble as a baby changing

table.

**Side note: so when I was writing this one...double ended up looking like DOOBLE

so I ended up drawing a line from DOOBLE to the bottom of the page

stating that it did in fact say DOUBLE.

-----------------------------------------------------16

Icy Hot spray fixes 

EVERYTHING.

If also makes a

great weapon

when sprayed

in the eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------17

If you have a pussy horn

dont honk it.

-----------------------------------------------------18

If you feel sleepy and

your eyes are dry, lick

your fingers and rub 

your eyes.

Trust me, it works.

-----------------------------------------------------19

Proventriculus -> Glandular

part of the stomach that

stores and starts to digest

food before it enters the 

gizzard.

Fuck Birds.

**another side note: this was before I liked birds.

-----------------------------------------------------20

The human head weighs 

about 8 lbs.

-----------------------------------------------------21

Zombie 

COMBAT

MANUAL For

WARRIORS

***Side Note: this was boxed in. Too hard to do on the computer.

-----------------------------------------------------22

I will continue

more tomorrow.

Night world. And if you (MD) happen to read this...I hope it makes you smile, or something.