I'm Stuck Inside A Poem

When are we going to finally be over this stupid rift? I've been here before...too many times. But I'm a sucker. I'll ways be. I'm willing to take the risk. I'm so petrified, I'm so scared to step into this ride. What if I lose my heart and fail... declined? I won't forgive me if i give up trying. I heard his voice today from a memory I keep tucked away, I didn't know a single word he said. Not one resemblance to the man I met. Just a vacant boy. Why do I do these things to myself? No matter how hard I try I might as well give up. What's there waiting for me after everything? Emptiness yet again...probably. I've been in this horrible mood lately and it's dragging me and everyone around me down and the sad thing is I have no idea how even start to get out. Is this just wasted time? I'm sorry to all my friends for being like this. Thank you Normy and Wes for your advice and to everyone else. I guess I'll see where this path leads.......home or hell. Ughhh in this night, I need to call you but all the lines are blown. If only you knew, how empty I feel. But maybe then you're lonely too, and it's tearing through you like a punctured wound. Maybe no one knows what to do. You’re all strong bones... they hold no water. Got the big fake smile, you just get sadder.
Time wound down and you've been cached. Because half measured shows are all half ass. How did we ever end up this way? And I fall numb in disarray, I’m just cultivating my ignorance. Didn't we have some standards once? This has been my year spent in exile. Second guessed and dressed up in tatters. My birth feet didn't take this path did they? And I'm still looking for a life that matters, more than just chit-chat. I can hardly breathe, and i release into one thousand pieces I have broke in to, over you. If nothing else I am at least myself. It's all I have to give. Everything's changing now, we could live like kings if we take the risk. Or we could live with doubt but one thing i know for sure...everything's changing now. Now I'm stuck inside a poem and then I'm walking by myself...in the dark, all alone... and these actors and dramatists they won't send me home. Well, maybe I'm like my father...strung out on something or another held to a standard. The one we were always sinking under. And maybe I'm like my mother. She shattered cause no one loved her.

Well there goes my life...passing me by like every departing flight.