Saturday, March 20, 2010
Only In A Ghetto Establishment
Some how I don't think this would be found in a suburban area. Only in a hood joint would you find a picture of Ice Cube to label an actual "ice cube" dispensor.
HOLY SHIT you got to watch this
Go down to the end of Stmichaelisdead and you can stop the music playing to listen to the video. FYI.....Noobs.
How To Win A Gunfight; INTERVIEW lol
FYI- In parts I’m interviewing myself so..haha
If there’s something I know well, it’s gun play. I often rob a bank during my lunch hour just so I can get into a gun battle with the authorities. Straight up Dillinger-style. Okay, so maybe my battlefield experience is limited to Nerf bullets and rubber bands, or hunting with my brothers, or just shooting the shit out of that damn armadillo digging a hole in my brothers yard with a .22 and HOPE I it =], but losing is still not an option. If you happen to find yourself trapped between Butch and Sundance, you need to have the know-how on how to win and walk away unscathed. Luckily, you have ME on your side to guide you through the process. Stmichaelisdead decided to ask a weapons expert (from the western barn, yo) for some hints on how to win a gunfight. That, and I also rewatched the kickass gun battle in the streets from Michael Mann’s Heat. Val Kilmer took one to the neck and kept going. Sweetness.
Stmichaelisdead’s Gun Expert: Ash of the Western Barn (lol)
Quick Bio -- Brings fugitives to justice, lifts weights, shoots things, blogging about reality and about her awesomeness (to be blogged very soon).
Choose Your Weapon Wisely: You probably won’t have access to a rocket launcher or bazooka, but choosing the next best thing will be key to your victory. Think something small, but powerful would be the best so you can do the ‘bob and weave’ if needed while firing off some rounds. Some rifles can be too cumbersome and awkward, so a handgun is the best route to take when choosing what you’ll be packing. And I’m not talking a .38 six shooter like the Westerns your grandpa or I grew up watching. I’m talking a heavy hitter with a clip that can be switched quickly. That’s what watching a lot of TV has taught me.
Advice: .44 Magnum.
Train: Ash says that “the best way to win a gunfight is training. You must train as often as you can depending on how good you want to be.” Think that since it is a gunfight and for reals, you probably want to be pretty good. Call it a gut feeling. Ash suggests training at least once a week and quotes the film Man on Fire: “You are either trained or untrained.” Okay then. Sign us up!! That means you need to be ready for bullets flying by your head while you are kicking ass or go ahead and paint a target on your face.
Advice: Watch more Denzel Washington movies.
Don’t Duel: Alexander Hamilton is a cautionary tale for all of us who want to challenge dudes to a gun duel. Duels are now illegal in a few states and are kind of dumb anyway. But they do sell cotton candy in the stands, for what it’s worth. Another reason not to duel is because it isn’t a real gunfight. It’s a crap shoot. And there are ‘gentleman’ rules that I don’t even know about involved in a duel. Borrrrrring.
Advice: Drive-by.
Don’t Be All Action Film-ish: Apparently the Die Hard films got it all wrong. Ash gun expert says that “running around and shooting off rounds” is a good way to get blown away. You may need to dodge and duck a little, but running like a maniac increases your chances of being hit -- which is probably not the start of a good day. In a real gunfight, stopping and aiming is the recipe for gunplay success -- that, and not running from place-to-place like a trapped fugitive. Stay in a safe location and be shielded. You know, so the bullets won’t hit you. That’s kind of important from what I have read in medical journals and seen on “M.A.S.H.” reruns.
Advice: Hide.
Pack Some Extra Junk: You know how in movies they keep firing and never run out of bullets? Yeah, not really the truth. Bullets run out quickly and guns need to be reloaded at some point. If you are in the line of work that requires carrying a gun, always have extra ammo. Loaded clips are best in a rush and muskets are discouraged because they’re ridiculous. Be prepared, is what I’m saying.
Advice: Wear cargo pants. Lots of pockets.
Don’t Shoot That Dude: The expert (aka, Ash) pointed out an important fact. Not everyone in your immediate universe is involved in said gun battle. I thought it was fun to shoot everyone in video games, but I was corrected. The expert’s warning of “you must always be aware of your surroundings” kind of makes you think twice when playing Play Station and shooting everything that moves. If the shit is going down in the street and you are under fire, make sure to scan the area before you fire back. Unless it’s your annoying neighbor walking by. Two birds, one stone, you know?
Advice: Give bullet proof vests to all your friends for Christmas.
Calm Yourself: As in, be zen like Phil Jackson Or someone else that is pretty calm under pressure. Ash says that a “gunfight won't be a relaxed deal. It most likely will be completely nuts [with] your nerves going a mile a minute.” Who would have thought that? It’s only bullets and shrapnel and stuff flying at you around 600 miles per hour. Staying calm during the battle requires focus and hours of training. We here at stmichaelisdead are assuming it also requires physical fitness so you don’t decide to take a nap in the middle of the gun duel. Just FYI.
Advice: Dance with Mary Jane. Daily.
Someone Has to Lose: Don’t blame me for saying there has to be a loser. Blame the gun expert. But be careful with your blame game -- she has a weapon and knows how to use it. Ash says that “to win [a gunfight], someone must lose theirs.” This means you kinda’, sorta’, haveta’ not have any mercy for the one you are battling. This is easy if you are on the right side of the law. Not so easy if your weapon is a Nerf gun and you are battling your 3-year-old nephew. Okay, maybe he deserves it.
Advice: Be heartless.
If there’s something I know well, it’s gun play. I often rob a bank during my lunch hour just so I can get into a gun battle with the authorities. Straight up Dillinger-style. Okay, so maybe my battlefield experience is limited to Nerf bullets and rubber bands, or hunting with my brothers, or just shooting the shit out of that damn armadillo digging a hole in my brothers yard with a .22 and HOPE I it =], but losing is still not an option. If you happen to find yourself trapped between Butch and Sundance, you need to have the know-how on how to win and walk away unscathed. Luckily, you have ME on your side to guide you through the process. Stmichaelisdead decided to ask a weapons expert (from the western barn, yo) for some hints on how to win a gunfight. That, and I also rewatched the kickass gun battle in the streets from Michael Mann’s Heat. Val Kilmer took one to the neck and kept going. Sweetness.
Stmichaelisdead’s Gun Expert: Ash of the Western Barn (lol)
Quick Bio -- Brings fugitives to justice, lifts weights, shoots things, blogging about reality and about her awesomeness (to be blogged very soon).
Choose Your Weapon Wisely: You probably won’t have access to a rocket launcher or bazooka, but choosing the next best thing will be key to your victory. Think something small, but powerful would be the best so you can do the ‘bob and weave’ if needed while firing off some rounds. Some rifles can be too cumbersome and awkward, so a handgun is the best route to take when choosing what you’ll be packing. And I’m not talking a .38 six shooter like the Westerns your grandpa or I grew up watching. I’m talking a heavy hitter with a clip that can be switched quickly. That’s what watching a lot of TV has taught me.
Advice: .44 Magnum.
Train: Ash says that “the best way to win a gunfight is training. You must train as often as you can depending on how good you want to be.” Think that since it is a gunfight and for reals, you probably want to be pretty good. Call it a gut feeling. Ash suggests training at least once a week and quotes the film Man on Fire: “You are either trained or untrained.” Okay then. Sign us up!! That means you need to be ready for bullets flying by your head while you are kicking ass or go ahead and paint a target on your face.
Advice: Watch more Denzel Washington movies.
Don’t Duel: Alexander Hamilton is a cautionary tale for all of us who want to challenge dudes to a gun duel. Duels are now illegal in a few states and are kind of dumb anyway. But they do sell cotton candy in the stands, for what it’s worth. Another reason not to duel is because it isn’t a real gunfight. It’s a crap shoot. And there are ‘gentleman’ rules that I don’t even know about involved in a duel. Borrrrrring.
Advice: Drive-by.
Don’t Be All Action Film-ish: Apparently the Die Hard films got it all wrong. Ash gun expert says that “running around and shooting off rounds” is a good way to get blown away. You may need to dodge and duck a little, but running like a maniac increases your chances of being hit -- which is probably not the start of a good day. In a real gunfight, stopping and aiming is the recipe for gunplay success -- that, and not running from place-to-place like a trapped fugitive. Stay in a safe location and be shielded. You know, so the bullets won’t hit you. That’s kind of important from what I have read in medical journals and seen on “M.A.S.H.” reruns.
Advice: Hide.
Pack Some Extra Junk: You know how in movies they keep firing and never run out of bullets? Yeah, not really the truth. Bullets run out quickly and guns need to be reloaded at some point. If you are in the line of work that requires carrying a gun, always have extra ammo. Loaded clips are best in a rush and muskets are discouraged because they’re ridiculous. Be prepared, is what I’m saying.
Advice: Wear cargo pants. Lots of pockets.
Don’t Shoot That Dude: The expert (aka, Ash) pointed out an important fact. Not everyone in your immediate universe is involved in said gun battle. I thought it was fun to shoot everyone in video games, but I was corrected. The expert’s warning of “you must always be aware of your surroundings” kind of makes you think twice when playing Play Station and shooting everything that moves. If the shit is going down in the street and you are under fire, make sure to scan the area before you fire back. Unless it’s your annoying neighbor walking by. Two birds, one stone, you know?
Advice: Give bullet proof vests to all your friends for Christmas.
Calm Yourself: As in, be zen like Phil Jackson Or someone else that is pretty calm under pressure. Ash says that a “gunfight won't be a relaxed deal. It most likely will be completely nuts [with] your nerves going a mile a minute.” Who would have thought that? It’s only bullets and shrapnel and stuff flying at you around 600 miles per hour. Staying calm during the battle requires focus and hours of training. We here at stmichaelisdead are assuming it also requires physical fitness so you don’t decide to take a nap in the middle of the gun duel. Just FYI.
Advice: Dance with Mary Jane. Daily.
Someone Has to Lose: Don’t blame me for saying there has to be a loser. Blame the gun expert. But be careful with your blame game -- she has a weapon and knows how to use it. Ash says that “to win [a gunfight], someone must lose theirs.” This means you kinda’, sorta’, haveta’ not have any mercy for the one you are battling. This is easy if you are on the right side of the law. Not so easy if your weapon is a Nerf gun and you are battling your 3-year-old nephew. Okay, maybe he deserves it.
Advice: Be heartless.
George Bush's Doodles During Obama Speach:
Doodling is a good way to express what you're thinking and how you're feeling in a situation. From time to time, we like to show you what people were doodling during important events in history. Which is why I was so lucky to come across George Bush's doodles during Barack Obama's inauguration speech. Enjoy.
=] hahaha
The 10 MOST Worthless College Majors;
College is a great place to learn and have fun. But let’s not kid ourselves, some degrees are as useless as the plot in a Michael Bay film. Here’s a list of 10 degrees that may be interesting, but do jack shit for you in the real world.10. ART HISTORY
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: With an art history degree you could maybe curate an art gallery or work at a museum or….yeah, that’s it. That’s all you can do. And seeing as how every art gallery and museum I’ve ever been to has exactly one dude sitting quietly at a desk reading a New Yorker and eating a food that requires chopsticks, I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s not a lot of positions open in the field. That means you’re going to have to venture out into the corporate world. And let me inform you, when you’re interviewing with Bob from the HR team at Wal-Mart who’s wearing a tie that has the twin towers smoking with writing underneath that says “We Will Never Forget,” your art history degree says to him “I’m a commie a-hole who thinks I’m better than guys with 9/11 ties.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: After your parents boot your ass from your bedroom to make room for anything that’s not your bedroom, you’ll wander towards the nearest coffee shop and get a job there, which will allow you to meet artists who will thank you for allowing them to put fliers by the cash register that inform people of their upcoming show that touts “the combination of art and flute.”
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.
What Job You’ll End Up With: Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.
8. AMERICAN STUDIES
Why It Won't Help You Get a Job: If you're not named Achmed or Bjork or G'Day Mate this isn't a degree, it's the last 18 years of your life. If you really want to study us you don't need to go to some stupid class, you need only to sit back and watch a two-hour block of Must-See TV to understand The American. After doing my own research, it seems that this mysterious creature is a pot-bellied humanoid with a hot wife and bad credit who has a penchant for low-calorie beer, Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays, Denny's, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Dave and Busters, Steak and Shake, Chilis (again) and Red Lobster. Oh and he can totally demolish a White Castle Crave Case in, like, 20 seconds. OK, now give me my degree.
What Job You’ll End Up With: To take your American Studies degree one step further, you will be qualified to do 40-50 years of “graduate work” cleaning tables and taking orders at a Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays or Red Lobster. Or possibly Denny’s.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: With an art history degree you could maybe curate an art gallery or work at a museum or….yeah, that’s it. That’s all you can do. And seeing as how every art gallery and museum I’ve ever been to has exactly one dude sitting quietly at a desk reading a New Yorker and eating a food that requires chopsticks, I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s not a lot of positions open in the field. That means you’re going to have to venture out into the corporate world. And let me inform you, when you’re interviewing with Bob from the HR team at Wal-Mart who’s wearing a tie that has the twin towers smoking with writing underneath that says “We Will Never Forget,” your art history degree says to him “I’m a commie a-hole who thinks I’m better than guys with 9/11 ties.”What Job You’ll End Up With: After your parents boot your ass from your bedroom to make room for anything that’s not your bedroom, you’ll wander towards the nearest coffee shop and get a job there, which will allow you to meet artists who will thank you for allowing them to put fliers by the cash register that inform people of their upcoming show that touts “the combination of art and flute.”
9. PHILOSOPHY
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.What Job You’ll End Up With: Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.
8. AMERICAN STUDIES
Why It Won't Help You Get a Job: If you're not named Achmed or Bjork or G'Day Mate this isn't a degree, it's the last 18 years of your life. If you really want to study us you don't need to go to some stupid class, you need only to sit back and watch a two-hour block of Must-See TV to understand The American. After doing my own research, it seems that this mysterious creature is a pot-bellied humanoid with a hot wife and bad credit who has a penchant for low-calorie beer, Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays, Denny's, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Dave and Busters, Steak and Shake, Chilis (again) and Red Lobster. Oh and he can totally demolish a White Castle Crave Case in, like, 20 seconds. OK, now give me my degree.What Job You’ll End Up With: To take your American Studies degree one step further, you will be qualified to do 40-50 years of “graduate work” cleaning tables and taking orders at a Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays or Red Lobster. Or possibly Denny’s.
7. MUSIC THERAPY
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: I didn’t even know this was a major until I found it on the Appalachian State website. According to their actual explanation of this major: “Music therapy is the scientific application of the art of music within a therapeutic relationship to meet the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of individuals.” Which is a big, fancy way of saying “We’ll teach you how to make a mix tape.” I guess I, too, am a qualified music therapist because my “Summer Jams ‘95” tape I made in the 10th grade totally rocked my house party. All my friends told me that kicking it off with Wreckz-N-Effects “Rump Shaker” followed by Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” totally met their physical, mental and spiritual needs to help them get wasted on my dad’s Schnapps and Drambuie.
What Job You’ll End Up With: After realizing that yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay people just to come in and set mood music, you’re sadly going to end up putting your degree towards burning a fire to keep warm because you are homeless.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: I didn’t even know this was a major until I found it on the Appalachian State website. According to their actual explanation of this major: “Music therapy is the scientific application of the art of music within a therapeutic relationship to meet the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of individuals.” Which is a big, fancy way of saying “We’ll teach you how to make a mix tape.” I guess I, too, am a qualified music therapist because my “Summer Jams ‘95” tape I made in the 10th grade totally rocked my house party. All my friends told me that kicking it off with Wreckz-N-Effects “Rump Shaker” followed by Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” totally met their physical, mental and spiritual needs to help them get wasted on my dad’s Schnapps and Drambuie.What Job You’ll End Up With: After realizing that yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay people just to come in and set mood music, you’re sadly going to end up putting your degree towards burning a fire to keep warm because you are homeless.
6. COMMUNICATIONS
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: After moving to New York and trying out for Hello Dolly! or Damn Yankees or any of the other seven Broadway plays that want dancers and not landing a single one because you got your dance degree from Ball State, you will find ample opportunity to show off your choreographic skills at one of the city’s many strip clubs. You’ll just need to change your name to Crystal or Bambi and you’ll be able finally live out your dream as a dancer. (Mom and Dad will be so proud!)
4. ENGLISH LIT
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: If someone can spend a weekend with a box of Cliff’s Notes and have only a slightly less conversational knowledge of what you spent 4 years studying, you probably don’t have the most employer friendly degree. Having an English Lit degree is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: No one cares and the best you can hope for is every once in a while someone buys you a beer because of it.
What Job You’ll End Up With: You can read and comprehend, so that gives you an advantage over 99.5% of the people that peruse Craig’s list job listings. Therefore, you’ll most likely end up landing an entry level position at a random small company, or showing up to your interview and being raped repeatedly by a group of masked men.
What Job You’ll End Up With: If you’re lucky, you’ll have an uncle who can get you a job as a production assistant on CSI Miami, where your time will be spent making coffee runs and finding whores that will let David Caruso pee on them.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”What Job You’ll End Up With: You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”
5. DANCE
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Despite what “Dancing with the Stars” and “High School Musical” may tell you, there aren’t a lot of dancing jobs out there—so you better be good because there aren’t any gigs for mediocre dancers. Outside of New York City or some crap in LA there is absolutely nothing you can do with a dance degree that doesn’t involve actually dancing for money. And since the Des Moines interpretive dance movement hasn’t really taken off yet, you have a better chance landing a job as an 8-Track repairman or a member of the Beatles.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Despite what “Dancing with the Stars” and “High School Musical” may tell you, there aren’t a lot of dancing jobs out there—so you better be good because there aren’t any gigs for mediocre dancers. Outside of New York City or some crap in LA there is absolutely nothing you can do with a dance degree that doesn’t involve actually dancing for money. And since the Des Moines interpretive dance movement hasn’t really taken off yet, you have a better chance landing a job as an 8-Track repairman or a member of the Beatles.What Job You’ll End Up With: After moving to New York and trying out for Hello Dolly! or Damn Yankees or any of the other seven Broadway plays that want dancers and not landing a single one because you got your dance degree from Ball State, you will find ample opportunity to show off your choreographic skills at one of the city’s many strip clubs. You’ll just need to change your name to Crystal or Bambi and you’ll be able finally live out your dream as a dancer. (Mom and Dad will be so proud!)
4. ENGLISH LIT
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: If someone can spend a weekend with a box of Cliff’s Notes and have only a slightly less conversational knowledge of what you spent 4 years studying, you probably don’t have the most employer friendly degree. Having an English Lit degree is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: No one cares and the best you can hope for is every once in a while someone buys you a beer because of it. What Job You’ll End Up With: You can read and comprehend, so that gives you an advantage over 99.5% of the people that peruse Craig’s list job listings. Therefore, you’ll most likely end up landing an entry level position at a random small company, or showing up to your interview and being raped repeatedly by a group of masked men.
3. LATIN
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Not only does no one speak this language anymore, but we already have all the Latin that exists in the world. There’s no new Latin that’s hot off the presses that needs immediate translating. I’m no business major, but majoring in a language that doesn’t exist anymore doesn’t sound so good for job security. And I’m sorry to break the news to you, but the world doesn’t need someone to translate The Bible or the inscription on the side of a Post Office or El Loco Latino’s “Latin House Party.”
What Job You’ll End Up With: Since you majored in something that doesn’t exist, you’re going to have two jobs. Your first one will be as the annoying pretentious guy who gives everyone the Latin etymology of every big word he hears at every dinner party he attends. Your second, and most lucrative job, will be as a Subway Sandwich Artist.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: No one in Hollywood gives a shit that you made a short film about an alcoholic albino that discovers the meaning of life through the help of a retarded child. Unless that retarded child was played by the son of Harvey Weinstein, your film or degree will be as pointless as the last three seasons of Lost
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Not only does no one speak this language anymore, but we already have all the Latin that exists in the world. There’s no new Latin that’s hot off the presses that needs immediate translating. I’m no business major, but majoring in a language that doesn’t exist anymore doesn’t sound so good for job security. And I’m sorry to break the news to you, but the world doesn’t need someone to translate The Bible or the inscription on the side of a Post Office or El Loco Latino’s “Latin House Party.” What Job You’ll End Up With: Since you majored in something that doesn’t exist, you’re going to have two jobs. Your first one will be as the annoying pretentious guy who gives everyone the Latin etymology of every big word he hears at every dinner party he attends. Your second, and most lucrative job, will be as a Subway Sandwich Artist.
2. FILM
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: No one in Hollywood gives a shit that you made a short film about an alcoholic albino that discovers the meaning of life through the help of a retarded child. Unless that retarded child was played by the son of Harvey Weinstein, your film or degree will be as pointless as the last three seasons of LostWhat Job You’ll End Up With: If you’re lucky, you’ll have an uncle who can get you a job as a production assistant on CSI Miami, where your time will be spent making coffee runs and finding whores that will let David Caruso pee on them.
1. RELIGION
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Sorry God, but a major in Religion is about as worthless as St. Brice (The Patron Saint of Stomach Aches.) Even Duke University can’t put a solid sell on this degree: “A major in religion offers intellectual excitement and can be a pathway to a liberal education.” OK, you sold me. So now I get to shell out about a hundred thousand dollars so I can know what to wear to a Shinto ceremony and learn how many virgins Allah will give me if I blow myself up in an Israeli square? If it’s OK with you, I’ll keep my money and stick to my sinning-a-lot-now-and-repenting-on-my-deathbed plan.
What Job You’ll End Up With: This one is tricky. On one hand you’ll probably end up working behind the desk of a Christian Science Reading Room. But on the other, you may end up with everlasting peace and spiritual enlightenment. Let’s call it a draw.
Mmmm America, you love me <3
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Sorry God, but a major in Religion is about as worthless as St. Brice (The Patron Saint of Stomach Aches.) Even Duke University can’t put a solid sell on this degree: “A major in religion offers intellectual excitement and can be a pathway to a liberal education.” OK, you sold me. So now I get to shell out about a hundred thousand dollars so I can know what to wear to a Shinto ceremony and learn how many virgins Allah will give me if I blow myself up in an Israeli square? If it’s OK with you, I’ll keep my money and stick to my sinning-a-lot-now-and-repenting-on-my-deathbed plan.What Job You’ll End Up With: This one is tricky. On one hand you’ll probably end up working behind the desk of a Christian Science Reading Room. But on the other, you may end up with everlasting peace and spiritual enlightenment. Let’s call it a draw.
Mmmm America, you love me <3
8 types of annoying people you'll find at Starbucks;
8. Manager Who Refuses to Recognize the Words Small, Medium, and Large
I understand, you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks Christian names of Venti, Grande, etc…. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I'm speaking to you in that Native American language we used in World War II to deliver coded messages (and for you idiots, its called Navajo lol anyways...). You’re familiar with the sizes small, medium and large, and if you’re not, then you might want to change underwear because there’s a good chance there’s a sizable amount of shit in them.
7. Intern Who is Buying for the Entire Office
Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. "Yeah, I'm gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot...and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And 14 grande supremos with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle. Oh, and can I get a smiley face on the bottom of all those?" And he knows if one of these orders is screwed up, it's going to cost him a chance at the a full-time gig as assistant editor where he can bring coffee to even more important people. So instead of just grabbing his bags and leaving, he inspects all 70-odd cups in his 17 flimsy cardboard holders. If you get behind this guy, you may as well give up any hopes of getting a cup of joe in your lifetime. You're better off flying to Columbia, slitting Juan Valdez's throat and stealing his coffee-harvesting burro.
I understand, you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks Christian names of Venti, Grande, etc…. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I'm speaking to you in that Native American language we used in World War II to deliver coded messages (and for you idiots, its called Navajo lol anyways...). You’re familiar with the sizes small, medium and large, and if you’re not, then you might want to change underwear because there’s a good chance there’s a sizable amount of shit in them.7. Intern Who is Buying for the Entire Office
Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. "Yeah, I'm gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot...and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And 14 grande supremos with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle. Oh, and can I get a smiley face on the bottom of all those?" And he knows if one of these orders is screwed up, it's going to cost him a chance at the a full-time gig as assistant editor where he can bring coffee to even more important people. So instead of just grabbing his bags and leaving, he inspects all 70-odd cups in his 17 flimsy cardboard holders. If you get behind this guy, you may as well give up any hopes of getting a cup of joe in your lifetime. You're better off flying to Columbia, slitting Juan Valdez's throat and stealing his coffee-harvesting burro.6. The "Writer" Who Wants You to Know They’re a Writer
Being a writer is a pretty cool occupation, but unfortunately you can’t tell someone’s a writer just by looking at them. And having to tell someone you’re a writer is way less impressive. Therefore, these people go to the busiest Starbucks and pop open their MacBook or whatever the fuck its called, making sure their screen is clearly displaying a full page of text (or clear screenplay format for those in Los Angeles). Their next step is to make sure they're facing away from where everyone goes to pick up their drinks while staring at the screen while remembering to take deep breaths which will indicate to others that deep and creative thought that normal minds are not capable of, is taking place. Who gives a shit if an asshole and his mac have spent six hours taking up a table normally reserved for four people, it’s important you know that they’re juggling a complex story about a boy in Alaska who comes of age and befriends a bear. That’s right, they’re creating that using only their minds!
At some point, the Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn't have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own version of the Wal-Mart Greeter who also takes your order. But since they don't pay shit, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin' dumbass or an excruciatingly-lonely elderly woman force their brand of corporate chit-chat down your throat. Instead of waiting to pay for your overpriced chai in peace, you have to deal with: "Goooooood morning today! How are you? Some kinda weather we're having isn't it? I wish I was outside in the park! Wouldn't that be nice? It's sooooo sunny! And what's better for you than a nice big dose of Mr. Sun! Maybe some coffee? Ha! So, what can we get you today? Need a little pick-me-up? You do! I think we ALL could use one, yes we could! YES WE COULD! Anyway, I'll get this chai order right up for you. What's your name? Terry? That's my cousin's name! Small world. Yes. It. Is. Small world indeed....Hi! And how are you doing today?!?!"...Not only are they greeting you with this bullshit, they are saying it EXTREMELY FAST. Why? Because they have had 39 shots of espresso to get through the shitty job.
Being a writer is a pretty cool occupation, but unfortunately you can’t tell someone’s a writer just by looking at them. And having to tell someone you’re a writer is way less impressive. Therefore, these people go to the busiest Starbucks and pop open their MacBook or whatever the fuck its called, making sure their screen is clearly displaying a full page of text (or clear screenplay format for those in Los Angeles). Their next step is to make sure they're facing away from where everyone goes to pick up their drinks while staring at the screen while remembering to take deep breaths which will indicate to others that deep and creative thought that normal minds are not capable of, is taking place. Who gives a shit if an asshole and his mac have spent six hours taking up a table normally reserved for four people, it’s important you know that they’re juggling a complex story about a boy in Alaska who comes of age and befriends a bear. That’s right, they’re creating that using only their minds!
5. Overly Happy Line Greeter/Order Taker
At some point, the Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn't have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own version of the Wal-Mart Greeter who also takes your order. But since they don't pay shit, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin' dumbass or an excruciatingly-lonely elderly woman force their brand of corporate chit-chat down your throat. Instead of waiting to pay for your overpriced chai in peace, you have to deal with: "Goooooood morning today! How are you? Some kinda weather we're having isn't it? I wish I was outside in the park! Wouldn't that be nice? It's sooooo sunny! And what's better for you than a nice big dose of Mr. Sun! Maybe some coffee? Ha! So, what can we get you today? Need a little pick-me-up? You do! I think we ALL could use one, yes we could! YES WE COULD! Anyway, I'll get this chai order right up for you. What's your name? Terry? That's my cousin's name! Small world. Yes. It. Is. Small world indeed....Hi! And how are you doing today?!?!"...Not only are they greeting you with this bullshit, they are saying it EXTREMELY FAST. Why? Because they have had 39 shots of espresso to get through the shitty job.4. Complicated Order Guy Who Needs his Coffee Right The FUCK Now.
When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system. If you’re lactose intolerant, on a strict diet, and can’t handle a full dose of caffeine, how about instead of ordering a “non-fat, grande, 112 degrees, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam" and then stand in front of the pick up window and pace like one of Michael Vick’s pit bulls watching Vick pull out the rape stand after losing a fight, you just grab a glass of god damn water and drink that. Last I checked that won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety... unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana.
3. The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But... Goes There Every Day
Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world's biggest bore and the world's biggest hypocrite combined into one big uber-shithead. He won't shut up about how Starbucks is bad for the environment and how they're taking over the world and how their coffee totally "doesn't taste like the gourmet stuff downtown." But when you bring up the fact that he's ranting about Starbucks while he's actually inside a Starbucks, his crappy hippie-wannabe excuses just start piling up. "Well, here's the thing, I just didn't have time to make it over to my usual coffee place. You know the one way over on 2nd Ave? Yeah, it's one of the last mom and pop coffee shops in the area. I toooootally love that place. It's so real. I was on my way over there, but the traffic was a killer, so I was totally forced to get my fix at this place. I mean, the rich get richer, right? That's the law of the land. I totally can't stand that I have to come here, but that's what they do. They tie your hands, man. These big corporations. They just own you. They're everywhere. Can you hand me one of those Splenda?"
2. Study Groups
Hey, screw the library with all it’s “room” and “group space.” It makes way more sense to go to an incredibly busy and crowded Starbucks with tables that have insufficient space to lay your books. Everyone knows you have a poli-sci midterm, mostly because they can hear every fucking thing you’re saying because you’re yelling so that you can be heard over a frappucino being made. If you could, would you hold a study group session in a Turkish prison? Because Starbucks is basically the same thing, except with less gay sex, and a little bit better coffee.
1. The Person Who Peruses the DVD Section As If They Might Purchase.
It’s really great when you’re waiting in line behind somebody only to realize that they’re not in line, but instead deciding whether or not they want to purchase the “Pursuit of Happyness” DVD. “Gee what’s this movie Pursuit of Happyness about? I didn’t hear of it last summer when it grossed over 100 million dollars. Even though I’ve come here for coffee, I should carefully peruse the back cover to find out more about it!” Also, please don't pick up a copy of “Akeelah and the Bee” as if you were going to buy it. No one buys that movie. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not even a real movie, it was just a box cover created by a group of white Starbucks executives so that customers could hold it in their hands and pretend to read the back, giving the impression to those around them that they’re progressive thinkers who seek out and enjoy films with African American casts.
When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system. If you’re lactose intolerant, on a strict diet, and can’t handle a full dose of caffeine, how about instead of ordering a “non-fat, grande, 112 degrees, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam" and then stand in front of the pick up window and pace like one of Michael Vick’s pit bulls watching Vick pull out the rape stand after losing a fight, you just grab a glass of god damn water and drink that. Last I checked that won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety... unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana.3. The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But... Goes There Every Day
Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world's biggest bore and the world's biggest hypocrite combined into one big uber-shithead. He won't shut up about how Starbucks is bad for the environment and how they're taking over the world and how their coffee totally "doesn't taste like the gourmet stuff downtown." But when you bring up the fact that he's ranting about Starbucks while he's actually inside a Starbucks, his crappy hippie-wannabe excuses just start piling up. "Well, here's the thing, I just didn't have time to make it over to my usual coffee place. You know the one way over on 2nd Ave? Yeah, it's one of the last mom and pop coffee shops in the area. I toooootally love that place. It's so real. I was on my way over there, but the traffic was a killer, so I was totally forced to get my fix at this place. I mean, the rich get richer, right? That's the law of the land. I totally can't stand that I have to come here, but that's what they do. They tie your hands, man. These big corporations. They just own you. They're everywhere. Can you hand me one of those Splenda?"2. Study Groups
Hey, screw the library with all it’s “room” and “group space.” It makes way more sense to go to an incredibly busy and crowded Starbucks with tables that have insufficient space to lay your books. Everyone knows you have a poli-sci midterm, mostly because they can hear every fucking thing you’re saying because you’re yelling so that you can be heard over a frappucino being made. If you could, would you hold a study group session in a Turkish prison? Because Starbucks is basically the same thing, except with less gay sex, and a little bit better coffee.1. The Person Who Peruses the DVD Section As If They Might Purchase.
It’s really great when you’re waiting in line behind somebody only to realize that they’re not in line, but instead deciding whether or not they want to purchase the “Pursuit of Happyness” DVD. “Gee what’s this movie Pursuit of Happyness about? I didn’t hear of it last summer when it grossed over 100 million dollars. Even though I’ve come here for coffee, I should carefully peruse the back cover to find out more about it!” Also, please don't pick up a copy of “Akeelah and the Bee” as if you were going to buy it. No one buys that movie. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not even a real movie, it was just a box cover created by a group of white Starbucks executives so that customers could hold it in their hands and pretend to read the back, giving the impression to those around them that they’re progressive thinkers who seek out and enjoy films with African American casts.0. WaBeMILFS (wanna-be MILFS) doing their best to squeeze the bolt-ons up so high they may actually poke someones eye out, and, my least favorite, babies, who have NO business drinking coffee, accompanied by said WaBeMILFS.
**couldn't find a good picture lol**
Anyways, the wannabe milfs are the worst. As soon as they walk in the fucking door you know it's for a fucking sugar free vanilla latte...with only, like, 4 drops of vanilla. So the mixologist puts in the 4 drops and they thank him/her, but they call them the wrong name, even if its pinned on the persons chest... They walk out the door and their not gone for two fucking seconds before they come back in and demand that the poor kid remakes it because it's too sweet and they wanted it with soy or skim milk or some shit dammit!
Haha OHH! And I've heard the worst is when you work at a non-Starbucks Cafe and the Starbucks personalities start showing up. They forget it's not a Starbucks and start ordering some super specific Starbucks only drink. When you politely inform them that it is not Starbucks and that you can make a similar drink, they suddenly stop their cell phone conversation and throw a fit, "Oh, I thought this was a Starbucks. If I can't have my iced double tall nonfat sugar free 180 vanilla latte I guess I'll have to go elsewhere." What, you were too busy to look at the giant sign over the door you walked into? And then, to top it off they go back to their cell phone conversation huffing and puffing as they walk out the door, "Can you believe this, I was just told that I was not in a Starbucks. I can't believe how rude these cafe's are."
Oh FYI...ordering a drink with steamed milk; it tastes like milk. It's loud. It's slow. Get a regular coffee and put milk in it, people.
To sum it up in two words: CONSUMER WHORE
..You know the ones who buy Hybrids and put Mac Apple stickers on the back of their cars. Same demographic.
Consumer.Whore
Consumer.Whore
Cord McKay
"Do you wanna dance?"
"Not to this.""Why not?"
"Because the first time I put my hands on you, I want you close. Real close. Close as we can get with our clothes on without getting kicked out for lewd behavior."HOLY SHIT =]
Friday, March 19, 2010
Ruf And Lucky ; Sailin Playboy
Ruf And Lucky and Sailin Playboy Take Home NRHA European Futurity Championships
Damn thats sexy.
Damn thats sexy.Thursday, March 18, 2010
Top Bloodlines;
Examples:
PLEASURE: or Western Pleasure
------------------------------------------
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Sire= father of a horse (dad)
Dam=mother of a horse (mom)
Dam's Sire= father of horses mother. (grandfather)
Simple? You Betcha. Idiotas.....!
Stallion------- Sire x Dam x Dam's Sire
Blazing Hot---- Hotrodders Jet Set x Tahnee Zippo x Zippo Pine Bar
----PLEASURE: or Western Pleasure
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NRHA: National Reinin Horse Associaion
-----------------------------------------------------
CUTTING: NCHA (National Cutting Horse Association)
CUTTING: NCHA (National Cutting Horse Association)
----------------------------------------------
PLEASURE BLOODLINES (top 10)
1. Invitation Only---------------------- Barpassers Image x Bears Raisin Kane x Mr Kane Raiser
2. Zippos Mr Good Bar-----------------Zippo Pine Bar x Tamara Wess x Blondy's Dude
2. Zippos Mr Good Bar-----------------Zippo Pine Bar x Tamara Wess x Blondy's Dude
3. Blazing Hot--------------------------- Hotrodders Jet Set x Tahnee Zippo x Zippo Pine Bar
4. Zips Chocolate Chip-----------------Zippo Pine Bar x Fancy Blue Chip x Custus Jaguar
5. A Sudden Impulse-------------------Impulsions x Zips Illusion x Zippo Pine Bar
6. Certain Potential---------------------Potential Investments x Miss Surely Bars x Sure Intimidation
7. Zippos Sensation---------------------Zippo Pine Bar x Satin N Lace x Poco Fiesty Bars
8. Good Version-------------------------Zippo Mr Good Bar x Winnie the Tiger x Tiger Leo
9. Zippo Pine Bar-------------------------Zippo Pat Bar x Dollie Pine x Poco Pine
10. Impulsions---------------------------The Invester x Randados Rosa x Cal Bar
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
NRHA BLOODLINES (top 10)
1. Topsail Whiz-----------------------Topsail Cody x Jeanie Whiz Bar x Cee Red
2. Hollywood Dun It----------------Hollywood Jac 86 x Blossom Berry x Dun Berry
3. Smart Chic Olena-----------------Smart Little Lena x Gay Sugar Chic x Gay Bar King
4. Shining Spark---------------------Genuine Doc x Diamonds Sparkle x Diamond Dude
5. Gallo Del Cielo--------------------Peppy San Badger x Docs Starlight x Doc
6. Custom Crome--------------------Crome Plated Jac x Another Greyhound x Greyhound Step
7. Lil Ruf Peppy----------------------Peppy San Badger x Rufas Peppy x Mr San Peppy
8. **Hollywood Jac 86--------------Easter King x Miss Hollywood x Hollywood Gold
9. Wimpys Little Step----------------Nu Chex To Cash x Leolita Step x Forty Seven
10. Reminic----------------------------Doc's Remedy x Fillinic x Arizona Junie
**Hollywood Jac 86 : Hollywood Jac 86's reign in the reining world over the past 1 1/2 decades is unprecedented. Born in 1967, deceased in 1991, Hollywood Jac 86 achieved the 1st Million Dollar Reining Sire status in a day when purses were a fraction of what they are today. And despite having only 251 foals on the ground - a fraction of the number of get of the top stallions of today (compare to the over 1200 get of Smart Chic Olena and the average get of the top 10 Leading Stallions of 735), and having been deceased for over 13 years, Hollywood Jac 86 has maintained at least one #1 Equi-Stat Reining spot in Leading Sires, Paternal Grandsires and Maternal Grandsires for 14 of the past 15 years. He was the #1 Leading Reining Sire for 5 of 7 years between 1988 and 1994. In 1994 he was both the #1 Leading Sire and #1 Leading Paternal Sire of reiners. And he is the untouchable and undesputed top producer of Reining Sires, being in the #1 Paternal Grandsire spot for 11 consecutive years, 1993 - 2003. Hollywood Jac 86's indelible inpact on reining today is unquestionable. As of 1/2004, the long deceased Hollywood Jac 86 still maintains the #4 spot in Leading All Time Reining Sires, surpassed only by 3 living stallions with average offspring of over 1000 each. #1 Leading Reining Sire, Hollywood Dun It, $3M Dollar and Hall Of Fame Sire, is a direct son of Hollywood Jac 86. Of the over $2M NRHA offspring earnings by #3 All Time Reining and Hall Of Fame Sire Topsail Whiz, one quarter of those earnings are from Topsail Whiz get out of own daughters of Hollywood Jac 86.
-NRHA Hall Of Fame
-First NRHA Million Dollar Sire
-Offspring Lifetime NRHA Earnings exceeding: $1.7M
-#1 Equi-Stat Paternal Grandsire of Reining Horses for an unprecedented 11 consecutive years, 1993 - 2003
- #1 Equi-Stat Leading Sire of Reining Horses 1988, 1989, 1991, 1992, 1994
- #1 Equi-Stat Maternal Grandsire of Reining Horses, 1996, 1998, 1999, 2002
- #2 Equi-Stat Maternal Grandsire of Reining Horses 2002, #5 in 2003
- NRHA Earnings: $6,090
- World Champion 1974-75 NRHA Non Pro
- Top Ten World Show Reining 1974
- ROM Performance
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////CUTTING (top 10)
1. *Smart Little Lena-------------------Doc O'Lena x Smart Peppy x Peppy San
2. Freckles Playboy------------------Jewel's Leo Bars x Gay Jay x Ray Jay
3. **Peppy San Badger-----------------Mr San Peppy x Sugar Badger x Grey Badger III
4. Doc's Hickory------------------------Doc Bar x Miss Chickasha x Chickasha Mike
5. High Brow Cat------------------------High Brow Hickory x Smart Little Kitty x Smart Litle Lena
6. Doc O' Lena---------------------------Doc Bar x Poco Lena x Poco Bueno
7. Dual Pep------------------------------Peppy San Badger x Miss Dual Doc x Doc's Remedy
8. Peptoboonsmal---------------------Peppy San Badger x Royal Blue Boon x Boon Bar
9. CD Olena------------------------------Doc O' Lena x CD Chica San Badger x Peppy San Badge
10. Doc's Oak---------------------------Doc Bar x Susie's Bay x Poco Tivio
*SMART LITTLE LENA: Those who were there literally watched history being made. Whether standing shoulder to shoulder, hanging on to the rail or sitting on the edge of their seats in the Will Rogers Coliseum, all eyes were riveted to the non-stop action.
It was finals night of the 1982 NCHA Futurity. During the first group of cattle, Stag A Lena ridden by Keith Barnett marked a 219. Boons Barrister brought down the house when he pawed the dirt in anticipation of his first cow and scored a 221. Brinks Leo Hickory was leading the prestigious field of 3-year-olds with a 222.
Bill Freeman, riding a little Doc O'Lena colt out of a Peppy San mare and dubbed by someone when a yearling as the ugly "Dockling," was last in the bunch. With low, smooth moves while working nose to nose with that black baldy cow, Freeman knew his cow-savvy stallion had just completed his best run of the show. The judges confirmed what the overflow crowd already knew... Smart Little Lena was the 1982 NCHA Futurity Champion scoring a 225.
Smart Little Lena went on to win the 1983 NCHA Super Stakes, was co-champion of the NCHA Derby and thus became the first Triple Crown Winner in cutting horse history. In an interview after the final win, Bill Freeman made what, with hindsight has become quite an understatement. He modestly responded, "Hopefully, Smart Little Lena will do something special for cutting and the NCHA."
Freeman's little pal has dominated the industry ever since, sired three NCHA Futurity Champions, and has become the all-time leading NCHA sire with offspring earning $24.7 million. In addition, his daughters have already produced another $8.1 million in winners.
**Peppy San Badger: In 1977, Peppy won the NCHA Futurity. He followed that with a win in the NCHA Derby in 1978. In 1980, Little Peppy was also inducted into the NCHA Hall of Fame. He topped off his victories by being named the 1980 Reserve World Champion and winning the Open Division of the 1981 NCHA Finals. Besides his accomplishments in cutting competition, Little Peppy was, until recently, the all time leading sire of NCHA competition cutting horses. His offspring have won in excess of $20,000,000.
mm bands
Ann Marie
Glass Pear
The Janedear Girls
Glass Pear
The Janedear Girls
People disappear
Every hour and every year
Sometimes I believe theyre here
Like shadows
What beer goes with what season;
Hunting Season: Moose Drool from Big Sky Brewing
Winter Season: Yellow Snow Ale from Rogue Ales
Bikini Season: Leinenkugel’s Big Butt
Christmas Season: Ridgeway’s Santa’s Butt
Engagement Season: Wasatch Polygamy Porter
Winter Season: Yellow Snow Ale from Rogue Ales
Bikini Season: Leinenkugel’s Big Butt
Christmas Season: Ridgeway’s Santa’s Butt
Engagement Season: Wasatch Polygamy Porter
'Nuff Said.
-smile-
=)
What Are You Doing, For The Rest Of My Life??
Day one, I stumbled through hello on 5th Ave
Day two, we grabbed a bite to eat
And talked all afternoon
Caught a movie on day fourteen
And day sixty-seven she said "I love you" to me
Oh, what a feelin'
What a wonderful emotion
Yeah, what a life
Counting my blessings and knowin'
Ooh, we had our ups and downs
All along the way
She had a chance to leave
But chose to stay
What a beautiful day
What a beautiful day
Day one-sixteen I asked her what she was doin'
For the rest of my life
Day one eighty- nine, oh I almost lost that girl
To my foolish pride
She said "I do"
On day four eighty-two
And gave me a son
On day seven sixty-one
Oh, what a feelin'
What a wonderful emotion
Yeah, what a life
Counting my blessings and knowin'
Ooh, we had our ups and downs
All along the wayShe had a chance to leave
But chose to stay
What a beautiful day
Day eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty-three
Well, honey that's fifty years
Yeah, here's to you and me
Oh, what a feelin'
What a wonderful emotion
Yeah, what a life
Counting my blessings and knowin'
Ooh, we had our ups and downs all along the way
She had a chance to leave
But chose to stay
What a beautiful day
What a beautiful day
Day one
I thank God I said hello on 5th Ave
Day two, we grabbed a bite to eat
And talked all afternoon
Caught a movie on day fourteen
And day sixty-seven she said "I love you" to me
Oh, what a feelin'
What a wonderful emotion
Yeah, what a life
Counting my blessings and knowin'
Ooh, we had our ups and downs
All along the way
She had a chance to leave
But chose to stay
What a beautiful day
What a beautiful day
Day one-sixteen I asked her what she was doin'
For the rest of my life
Day one eighty- nine, oh I almost lost that girl
To my foolish pride
She said "I do"
On day four eighty-two
And gave me a son
On day seven sixty-one
Oh, what a feelin'
What a wonderful emotion
Yeah, what a life
Counting my blessings and knowin'
Ooh, we had our ups and downs
All along the wayShe had a chance to leave
But chose to stay
What a beautiful day
Day eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty-three
Well, honey that's fifty years
Yeah, here's to you and me
Oh, what a feelin'
What a wonderful emotion
Yeah, what a life
Counting my blessings and knowin'
Ooh, we had our ups and downs all along the way
She had a chance to leave
But chose to stay
What a beautiful day
What a beautiful day
Day one
I thank God I said hello on 5th Ave
Come on and pick your kitten;
I like your lips like I like my Coca-Cola yeah
Oh how it pops and fizzes
You like my shirt like I like it when you hold my hand the way it fits
Its got me feeling lucky
Lucky uh it's got me uhh
You got that something
Boy I wanna be where you are
And I'm gunning for ya
And I can't even fall for some other man
Cause brother, man you know how to get hip to my heart
All the girls in town look you up and look you down
I know so come on and pick your kitten purr baby purr honey go ahead and say the word lets go
I think I'm the one you takin'
Got me feeling feeling lucky
You play it cool
You play it so coo coo cool
And what am I supposed to do
When you play it so cool
And I got the hots for you
Oh how it pops and fizzes
You like my shirt like I like it when you hold my hand the way it fits
Its got me feeling lucky
Lucky uh it's got me uhh
You got that something
Boy I wanna be where you are
And I'm gunning for ya
And I can't even fall for some other man
Cause brother, man you know how to get hip to my heart
All the girls in town look you up and look you down
I know so come on and pick your kitten purr baby purr honey go ahead and say the word lets go
I think I'm the one you takin'
Got me feeling feeling lucky
You play it cool
You play it so coo coo cool
And what am I supposed to do
When you play it so cool
And I got the hots for you
Easton Corbin
Despite sometimes sharing the been there, done that liability of its lead-off single (and Top 10 hit) “A Little More Country Than That,” Easton Corbin successfully stands miles apart from current radio fare with nary an electric guitar riff, rock and roll drums solo or cacophonous chorus.
More importantly, however, its neo-traditionalist production choices–combined with the singer’s near-perfect blend of the vocalists who made that movement popular–sound modern, fresh and mainstream-friendly.
The album’s easy, natural feel is due in no small part to producer–and former steel guitarist and bandleader for Keith Whitley–Carson Chamberlain, who deserves credit for packing the most steel on a mainstream album release since Jamey Johnson’s That Lonesome Song, albeit to a much different result. While Johnson capitalized on the instrument’s mournful undertones, Corbin uses it to champion his exuberant grasp on country music.
That excitement is the basis of songs such as the jaunty, vintage Alan Jackson “The Way Love Looks,” and travel tune “This Far From Memphis,” which scores the record’s best line “Now I’ve run out of road/So I guess my only hope is to trade this truck for a boat.”
But even when Corbin is down and out on heartbreak songs like the album’s best tune “Leavin’ a Lonely Town,” he is able to instantly inject listeners into the who, what, when and where of heartbreak: “Mama’s standing at the old screen door, with a dishrag in her hand/Crying like I never seen her cry before…/My old man is working on his truck/Ain’t never had much to say/Just shakes my hand and wishes me luck and watches me walk away/Yeah, I’m leavin’ a lonely town.”
Despite these strengths, at times Easton Corbin is an example of the sum being greater than the parts. Kenny Chesney cheese-fest “A Lot to Learn About Livin’” and semi-saccharine “Someday When I’m Old” would simply wither sans Corbin’s natural charm, while “That’ll Make You Wanna Drink” will simply, well, make you want to drink.
While these songs don’t reach the level of detail, emotion and connection as most on the album, the strong thread of charismatic artistry that runs from Track 1 to Track 11 largely neutralizes its dead weight.
Corbin, who owns four co-writes in the collection, will struggle to overcome the label of “the guy that sounds just like Strait.” However, in terms of self-identification, he’s off to a good start: Despite the bravado suggested by the Florida native’s lead-off single, this album never tries too hard to be anything it’s not, and why should it–Easton Corbin is a debut effort by an artist with incredible promise to be a potential game changer in the country music genre.
Still, I love Corbin.
Yet, one question remains. How old is this guy? Ash, has figured this out by a simple infusion of her years of math and whatever else you wanna call it: his face is about 14 and his voice is about 40. Add and divide by two to get 27... haha
More importantly, however, its neo-traditionalist production choices–combined with the singer’s near-perfect blend of the vocalists who made that movement popular–sound modern, fresh and mainstream-friendly.
The album’s easy, natural feel is due in no small part to producer–and former steel guitarist and bandleader for Keith Whitley–Carson Chamberlain, who deserves credit for packing the most steel on a mainstream album release since Jamey Johnson’s That Lonesome Song, albeit to a much different result. While Johnson capitalized on the instrument’s mournful undertones, Corbin uses it to champion his exuberant grasp on country music.
That excitement is the basis of songs such as the jaunty, vintage Alan Jackson “The Way Love Looks,” and travel tune “This Far From Memphis,” which scores the record’s best line “Now I’ve run out of road/So I guess my only hope is to trade this truck for a boat.”
But even when Corbin is down and out on heartbreak songs like the album’s best tune “Leavin’ a Lonely Town,” he is able to instantly inject listeners into the who, what, when and where of heartbreak: “Mama’s standing at the old screen door, with a dishrag in her hand/Crying like I never seen her cry before…/My old man is working on his truck/Ain’t never had much to say/Just shakes my hand and wishes me luck and watches me walk away/Yeah, I’m leavin’ a lonely town.”
Despite these strengths, at times Easton Corbin is an example of the sum being greater than the parts. Kenny Chesney cheese-fest “A Lot to Learn About Livin’” and semi-saccharine “Someday When I’m Old” would simply wither sans Corbin’s natural charm, while “That’ll Make You Wanna Drink” will simply, well, make you want to drink.
While these songs don’t reach the level of detail, emotion and connection as most on the album, the strong thread of charismatic artistry that runs from Track 1 to Track 11 largely neutralizes its dead weight.
Corbin, who owns four co-writes in the collection, will struggle to overcome the label of “the guy that sounds just like Strait.” However, in terms of self-identification, he’s off to a good start: Despite the bravado suggested by the Florida native’s lead-off single, this album never tries too hard to be anything it’s not, and why should it–Easton Corbin is a debut effort by an artist with incredible promise to be a potential game changer in the country music genre.
Still, I love Corbin.
Yet, one question remains. How old is this guy? Ash, has figured this out by a simple infusion of her years of math and whatever else you wanna call it: his face is about 14 and his voice is about 40. Add and divide by two to get 27... haha
14+40=54÷2=27
Josh Turner
The finest male voice on country radio is back with his first record in over two years. His last release, Everything is Fine went gold and saw him expanding his boundaries, experimenting with R&B and Celtic music. So Josh Turner had a lot to live up to on his fourth album.
Haywire starts off strong with infectious escapist tune “Why Don’t We Just Dance,” a single that recently cracked the Top 10. From there, the record is one love song after another. If you’re looking for a songs about drunkenness, brokenhearted wallowing, two-timing, or any other behaviors often featured in country music, best look someplace else, Debbie Downer. As he said in his interview with Blake Boldt last month, “Basically, the theme of this record is taking people’s minds off the economy and all that.” Mission accomplished? Maybe....
Haywire starts off strong with infectious escapist tune “Why Don’t We Just Dance,” a single that recently cracked the Top 10. From there, the record is one love song after another. If you’re looking for a songs about drunkenness, brokenhearted wallowing, two-timing, or any other behaviors often featured in country music, best look someplace else, Debbie Downer. As he said in his interview with Blake Boldt last month, “Basically, the theme of this record is taking people’s minds off the economy and all that.” Mission accomplished? Maybe....
Though he had a hand on fewer songs than he did on Everything Is Fine, five of Haywire’s 11 songs were written or co-written by Turner. As always, he surrounds himself with some of the best in the business: Shawn Camp and Chris Stapleton show up once more as songwriters, while accomplished bluegrass musicians Bryan Sutton and Aubrey Haynie contribute some expert picking.
“As Fast As I Could,” written with Jeremy Spillman (“Another Try,” “Arlington”), is the one of the strongest songs of the album and seems destined for success on the charts. It sounds somewhat similar to “Would You Go With Me,” combining a rootsy fiddle and Dobro arrangement with an insanely catchy chorus. As with “Would You Go With Me,” Turner absolutely nails this song, sounding sweet and sincere as he sings “I ran full speed ahead without stopping to rest/Not knowing where I was headed to/Now that I’m here, it’s perfectly clear/I was making my way to you/Can’t believe how long it took/But I got here as fast as I could.” As a bonus, there are hints of Turner’s all-too-rare falsetto.
On Everything Is Fine, Josh Turner flirted with R&B on his duet with Anthony Hamilton, “Nowhere Fast.” On Haywire, the R&B feel is back with “Lovin’ You On My Mind,” only this time, Turner’s flying solo. Written by Kendell Marvel, Chris Stapleton, and Tim James, “Lovin’” is a slow burn of a song, thanks to Turner’s sultry delivery, which is backed by Nashville Sound-esque strings. It’s not hard to imagine this being a song Conway Twitty would have jumped at the chance to record 30 years ago. Also in this soulful vein is the decidedly unsexy but very moving gospel tune, “The Answer,” on which Turner brings in a choir.
Like his previous three albums, Haywire has some filler. But it’s better filler than the material on his earlier records: there are no outright stinkers like “Trailerhood.” The weakest song is the album’s title track. A song about a woman who leaves a man tongue-tied, shaking, and full of desire calls for a looser, wilder performance; here Turner’s restrained delivery suggests he’ll go haywire…as soon as this episode of Babe Winkelman’s Good Fishing ends. He’s made it clear that he can cut loose with songs like “Loretta Lynn’s Lincoln,” and Johnny Horton’s “One Woman Man,” but that feeling of playfulness is missing on “Haywire.”
The album’s lone cover is a remake of Don Williams’ 1987 Top 10 hit “I Wouldn’t Be a Man.” Turner’s version is nothing particularly special, especially when compared to Williams’ damn fine original; Turner seems to be phoning it in. It’s hard not to compare it to Turner’s other, better Don Williams cover, “Lord Have Mercy On a Country Boy” (from Your Man). Now, the lyrics to “I Wouldn’t Be a Man” are cringe-worthy even when a smooth guy like Don Williams is singing them, so although Josh Turner should be commended for singing “the secret way you touch me/Tells me there’s no holding back” without sounding like a creeper, this one can be skipped over without missing too much.
Though there are no exceptional songs on here comparable to “Long Black Train” or “The Longer the Waiting (The Sweeter the Kiss),” Haywire is a very solid album. It just doesn’t live up to the flashes of brilliance we’ve seen from Josh Turner on previous work. He is still, crazy gorgeous though. Mmm Cowboy!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Lil Wayne SUCKS
Prom Queen...lol. Lil Wayne attempting to do a rock CD? Do yourself a favor..or disfavor...just fucking throw yourself off a building if you listen to this bull..ugh this uncreative dick if he even wrote this shit himself...sounds exactly like its one of his uncreative no thought, rock songs some of that "dance shit" he comes out with who probably has some studio rock musicians..some struggling musicians who cant write shit of their own who put out the shitty Three Days whatever the fuck i dont even know..Nickelback you know what im talking about..the "usual Suspects" the bands that all sound alike... "i love the fancy underwear i sit behind her every year" THAT DOESNT RHYME. And please tell me why he's doing the stupid voice effect like what are you fuckin Cher? SHE DID THAT TEN YEARS AGO...the fuckin "Believe in life after love" and now people are doing it like its cool? All they do is put out songs for the clubs. Tpain and all those other fags...Get some credibility douchebag. People are saying "Hes so varied" "his range is sooo incredible" "the worrrlds greatest rapper is now attempting ROCK MUSIC" hes RAPING yet another genre...i dont even know but hes trying a WHOLE entire cd of rock music. nobody can take this shit SERRIOUSLY. fuck Lil Wayne...and his YES MAN. sitting around like "Yo guys im gonna try a rock album" while their like "yeahhhh mannnnnn do it tryyy it you can do anything"...this ugh i dont even know what you call it..dogshit? This noise isnt even worth the plastic its recorded on.
i cant begin to tell you how much i hate Lil Wayne.
i cant begin to tell you how much i hate Lil Wayne.
Finding a Job;
Finding a job. Finding a job can be hard. But whats even harder is when your family and friends are trying to "help you". And by "help you" i mean "distract you" and "fuck you up". They'll try to tell you what your good at, what your bad at, in my case its usually just what your bad at...and then they'll just start...spattin out jobs they had in the past that has nothing to do with anything but, they still tell you anyways. So heres my advice to you, when you figure out what you wanna be when you grow up...or what job you want or what your dream career is dont listen to your friends or family dont listen to anyone around you cause the only person who can make the decision is you..its good to have dreams..keep dreaming. And in a less Disney Land way all you have to say is Fuck You.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Halo 3
Who has 2,198 Beat Downs? 2,587 kills with the BR. 225 killjoys? Bubb73Troub73 thats who.
Bubb73Troub73
Then, theres this ninja:
PinkFairy87
then theres this sexy beast:
k0mbat killer..lol i sucked tho
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Rain...can wash everything away but desire lol
hard to write...can't concentrate...waiting for the storm to move the ferns. wild rain...grant my wish...lmaooo
God what can I say about Rio....HOLY SHIT. An untamed, alpha hero unleashed ...and unclothed... in the jungle? Brings out the primal omigosh factor in every female. Be jealous men. Be jealous. I mean do I need a reason to fall in love with RIO!? LMAOO I mean I don't know what he's doing out there in the wet, and I don't care I reserve the right to objectify guys - even if it's not..proper. Oh well, if you're going to hide something behind the cover, I guess a naked man is worth a sneak peek. Oh, and I like the tropical feel and colors of the front cover too. Ohhh Everyones probably like wtf lol you wouldn’t understand. Just keeeeep pretending you do.
Friday, February 26, 2010
PROOF We Are Living In The End Of Times
The fact that music like this exists, and people support it, and they are even somewhat famous, is not only proof that there is no god, but that there is no hope for humanity. I haven't heard this band before today, and now I have the urge to shoot myself. There is no way these guys can possibly get laid. It's FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE. I gotta say though, it's really nice of these girls in the video to spend time with the mentally handicapped. If you like this band, or this kind of music, or their terrible fashion, kill yourself. Throw yourself off of a cliff, hang yourself, saw away at your wrists, whatever it takes. There is no rationalization for your existence, you are sub human as far as I'm concerned, and you are supporting vile and garbage that is polluting the world. Fucking kill yourself. My god, there are so many people I want to punch in the face....goddamn. Like are these two guys fucking serious? And do they serrrriously have the same fucking hair style? Wack.
Aside from being hillllariously cynical
Aside from being hilariously cynical;
Aside from being a hilariously cynical motherfucker,
Here's whats up: I don't wanna ramble too much, so I'll be a cynical asshole for a split second. This is probably unprofessional of me to bash other musicians, but I don't care. I still can't BELIEVE how terrible the band Brokencyde is. Kings of Leon is also pretty atrocious. Something about that lead singer's voice really bothers me. It makes me want to uppercut Jeffree Star in his vagina. Don't even get me started on the lack of talent that creation produces.
Holy shit guys, let's start supporting legit bands please? Stop paying for and supporting useless troglodyte artists who have such a negative message to the upcoming generation.
Also I've said it before and I'll say it again. Twitter is proof that there is no god, and that we are living in the end times. I can't believe how retarded that website has made so many people. God what can I say about Twitter?... please don't give me updates on all the little things you do, I really don't give a shit if you just finished masturbating in a Jack in the Box parking lot.
Aside from being a hilariously cynical motherfucker,
Here's whats up: I don't wanna ramble too much, so I'll be a cynical asshole for a split second. This is probably unprofessional of me to bash other musicians, but I don't care. I still can't BELIEVE how terrible the band Brokencyde is. Kings of Leon is also pretty atrocious. Something about that lead singer's voice really bothers me. It makes me want to uppercut Jeffree Star in his vagina. Don't even get me started on the lack of talent that creation produces.
Holy shit guys, let's start supporting legit bands please? Stop paying for and supporting useless troglodyte artists who have such a negative message to the upcoming generation.
Also I've said it before and I'll say it again. Twitter is proof that there is no god, and that we are living in the end times. I can't believe how retarded that website has made so many people. God what can I say about Twitter?... please don't give me updates on all the little things you do, I really don't give a shit if you just finished masturbating in a Jack in the Box parking lot.
OWL CITY
I thought I'd breakdown and bare my soul on the artist/band I really can't fucking stand...Owl City...my god. I really feel uncomfortable calling Adam Young "OWL CITY". A) because its a really fucking stupid name and B) it's just one guy. Why would you call yourself a band name if your just one guy? Why wouldn't you tour as Adam Young..because it's a common name? I mean Owl City is so...idk it fits. The songs though...cause all the songs are like the rantings and writings of an autistic four year old...these weird fantasy mystical... things of 'you know hes so removed from real life' 'hes just out there man'..he just sits there daydreams and writes down what he envisions. I hate when people call themselves band names like Rocketsummer and Owl City...if your doing everything just give yourself the credit. Why do you go under some weird cryptic name? so people have to look you up? so people are like Who the fuck is owl city? then you realize your one guy. What am I supposed to be impressed that your just one guy pulling off all this shit?...It just sounds like your just tinkering away at some keyboard.. it sounds terrible. I read that people think Owl City rips off Postal Service and yeah they do sound alike but I'm not gonna say he rips them off but I guess they're trying to create some new shit genre. You really can't call it indi it leans more towards emo....it sounds like if you took indi music and had it's balls ripped off by some rabid wolverines where it's like indi but without the edge. I don't know how to describe it...synthpop? Where Lady Gaga fits in. Just genres' these days have no boundaries they go all over the place...I will give Adam Young this...the songs they dont sound like anything else. it's a pretty genuine sound. I cant see the audience for this where you just wanna sit down and envision yourself on a vanilla beach or whatever the fuck the songs are called. Vanilla Twilight? Umbrella Beach? The songs on this cd Ocean Eyes sounds so wimpy. Vanilla Twilight sounds like a song that would be great on a Sega game...but the second he opens his mouth it turns to shit. Whats with all the autotune? I dont know what this guy sounds like without it he, pretty much relys on it.. he sounds like...Microsoft Sam got a fucking record deal. The song Fireflys is just..gay. I don't know what happened with rock music like Kings of Leon...they don't exactly rock. Nothing sounds new..
Ke$ha sucks...
She clearly cant sing.....singer songwriter....nails on a chalkboard voice.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i cant even rant abut her shes so lame
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i cant even rant abut her shes so lame
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Some songs to ponder;
Holiday Unheard - Painting The White Elephant, And His Face Lit Up Blue
The Hope Fallacy- Behind Closed Doors
I Never Heard The Bullet- Why Does The Pavement Seem So
John Wayne Hero- Marlin Heroin
Got No Shame- Stranded
Head Automatica- Lying Through Your Teeth, Beating Heart Baby
Head Over Hills- I'll Admit, Musically Inclined
Goodnight Gravity- Wouldnt Change A Thing
ForgetMeNot- My Daisy
A Kidnap In Color- Vanity Fair
Keepsake Summer- Sleepers Just Dont Know
Explosions In The Sky- Your Hand In Mine
The Hope Fallacy- Behind Closed Doors
I Never Heard The Bullet- Why Does The Pavement Seem So
John Wayne Hero- Marlin Heroin
Got No Shame- Stranded
Head Automatica- Lying Through Your Teeth, Beating Heart Baby
Head Over Hills- I'll Admit, Musically Inclined
Goodnight Gravity- Wouldnt Change A Thing
ForgetMeNot- My Daisy
A Kidnap In Color- Vanity Fair
Keepsake Summer- Sleepers Just Dont Know
Explosions In The Sky- Your Hand In Mine
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