Sunday, September 27, 2009

Myspace girls and their Photo shoots...lol

This is repulsively retarded on the epic level:












Is this supposed to be sexy? Cause I'm not turned on...infact im confused..what was the message in these pictures?
Really lost blonde girl?????

Mile away












Knowing she relies on him..he got cold feet so he had to run..


Now I'm on my way to an unpredicted fall. Feet under the covers now..I'm laying awake at the thought of you gone...I lost you again and all at once the world stops spinning. Maybe once you'll let me win?




I'm a mile away from where I belong...



Like violence you have me forever and after. Like violence you kill me

If I knew that my time would be so short with you;

I wouldn't have attached my heart like an anchor to something less stable than me.









It's not fair.

If I wasn't so deep in the bad side of me...if my bones were alive.....


Guess I'll fade away.
That slow decay.

=]

Who's gonna go..

Every day it's every down and every night you turn around..you tell me kindly that you like me just the way I am now. Well, if you like me so much tell me, why are you giving up? Is it worth enough? I guess it's not. I can't believe that it happened to me.

Who's gonna drive me home when we're not speaking? Who's gonna let me know that I believed it? Who's gonna stay? Cause I won't if you're really leaving. I hope you see it's truly me who's gonna go.

You tell your friends it's time to leave but then you tell me that you see...something here you can't imagine living without me. Well, I can see right through your lies. The clear glass cover of your pride. There's nothing wrong with what you keep inside.

Who's gonna go? Just stay around...you're too far out..

Our California and that San Diego sky


And I remember, that day that saved us. The way you kissed me, and the salt it filled my eyes and we remember, our Californa. The night we slept along the shore and washed away..lying on the beach the waves are crashing and the humming of the train... Farwell for now..so long. My endless summers gone and it burns the sky. Over our fears tonight..But this is never goodbye...under this San Diego sky. What went down will never die but this is never goodbye. The memory brings us to life....Over our fears tonight




This is my goodbye;

You've got me where you want me. Falling on the ground, I hold you in the highest place, so I'm getting out.

Cause you've got me so strung out. When you leave and come around. How am I supposed to breath..the more I live its killing me. And now I'll be glad to see every time you leave. This is the last time. This is the last fight. Sunsets to sunrise. This is my goodbye. From morning till midnight. With or without you..this is my goodbye.

You were trouble since the day we met. I can see that now I take back everything I said. Everything ‘till now...

I'm writing you out, I'm crossing my T's. And I want back the ..... that you said you did keep. You miscomprehended. I've sworn you to dead. And my words are as strong as my last gasp for breath.

Do you remember?

I was your fire once. You thought of me as your one true love. I got so mad, said things that later I would regret and regret and regret. Holding onto my chest and pounding till it turns purple.. a breaking bow and the sound of a scream muffled by pillows. So don't so long and dont farewell. Hear me out now I've just begun to say...

Do you remember how I carried your heart.. and I carried it far. And I know that theres no one to blame. It's a sure given shame of my own, that you dont..remember

Sworn off blue lips..kiss them warm, with love comes deep dark red. And paper cuts from letters I re-write explaining how to fall in love. Well pictures inspire and songs never tire and there's always clouds to float upon. Saving me best for last, down for keeps up for grabs. We'll play stop and go. But it feels just like freeze tag..so I'll see you right applaud and encore I'll be braver just you wait here till I say..

Do you remember?

I'm unhearted

Photograph each day so we can live forever,. Sit in the light to make the dark a little darker and I dance to move only you and I fight to kiss and make up. I scream for some silence. I laugh to laugh for once, not there so you notice I'm gone and I breathe cuz its neccessary and I sigh when I see the moon. I dream to make sleep less boring.. until there was you and I feel in the absence of heart and I plug my eyes to cry. I'm a hopeless romantic and kicking the habit but all hearts have darts.

Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me. You marked your name but I can see, its not on me. So I've shamelessly gone and made myself come undone. Heavy hangs my head when I'm unhearted.

I wear this angels crown to cover up my devils frown and upon my broken chest lay a struggle between loneliness and things that are out of place like my head in outer space and the carpet you walked on the ceiling that cries please don't walk away.

Bellow it out with all the breath in my lungs. Apologize for all that I've done. You did a number on me and a fantastic job. In the scheme of all things we never felt. When your hearts been breached and your guards been let down; You've rotten and spoiled me into the ground and a good mess forgives all the rest we allow...


Saturday, September 26, 2009

The only math I understand;


you, me and everyone we know + ears and a sensible brain = fantasticness.

WHITE COLLAR!!

Premieres Friday Oct 23 on USA at 9!!





this show looks awesomee

People of the mountain;

Long time ago...
we went down to Mexico
and so we stayed
and so we prayed
Under the sun
we were bound to have some fun
but then it rained
Oh it rained
All I'd wanted was some time alone
With my arm around you my dear
But it was only a state of mind, you see
And the people
in the mountain
singing...
When we were sad...
we walked down the only path
‘til our feet were in the sand
Through ocean breeze
The sun was only there to tease
‘cause then it rained
Oh it rained
All I'd wanted, was some time alone
With my heart here for you and for me
But it was only a state of mind, you see
And the peopleof the ocean
singing...

This is SO bomb

^This stuff is OMG.

I love lasagnaaaa

Thursday, September 24, 2009

That boy Casanova;

You better take it from me, that boy is like a disease
You’re running, you’re trying, you’re trying to hide
And you’re wondering why you can’t get free
He’s like a curse, he’s like a drug
You get addicted to his love
You wanna get out but he’s holding you down
‘Cause you can’t live without one more touch
He’s a good time
Like a cool drink of water
But he’s candy-coated misery
He’s the devil in disguise
A snake with those eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don’t want to fight
You better run for your life
I know how it ends
You can’t get away
Don’t even look in his eyes
He’ll tell you nothing but lies
And you wanna believe
But you won’t be deceived
If you listen to me
And take my advice
run away
Don’t let him mess with your mind
He’ll tell you anything you want to hear
He’ll break your heart
It’s just a matter of time...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I want to know

what it feels like to know what its like to be loved....








remember?

Your the brightest firefly in my jar;

But like all fireflies I've ever had have been let go...




Freedom. I guess.




****

What if I said yes
What if I'd gone out that night
What if you'd turned left
Everything would've turned out right
What if I'd spoke up
What'd if I'd took the keys
What if I had tried a little harder instead of always trying to please
What if I'd said no
What if we'd never fell in love
What if we'd gone slow
Or a little be faster and broken up
Would I know this hurt
Would I feel this pain
Do you know that with all I have left in my very last breath I will call your name
Were you sadWere you scared
Did you wish for a prayer to be free
Was it quiet and cold
Was it light or too dark to see
And did you reach for me..?

Monday, September 21, 2009

And I'm so sorry

I don't know what I've done. But it must have been bad. Bad enough to drive you away. Even with everything you said..Scottybutt, Eng..... I don't know what it is I'm taking back...but I take it back. I'm sorry. Sorry for something I don't understand. If it was standing up for myself then I'm sorry but I won't be stepped on by some girl I don't even know. I'll forget this ever happened. Pretend it's all a dream and as all dreams have one thing in common, this one is ending I guess... I just wish you hadn't said all those things if this was your ending intention. I should have noticed the signs. Instead....I told myself this wasn't the real picture. That you weren't that cruel....The taste of ink is getting old. You gave me the best mixed tape I have. Even all the bad songs ain't so bad. I'm sick of your tattoos. When I say let's keep in touch, I really mean I wish that you'd grow up.



All my best memories...are fading away


Even now I can see you smile.

I can hear you hum.

I can hear you sing.

And I always can find you again



...scottybutt ugh

*****butt...








Even Now
Dashboard Confessional
<_el3

...

Read black where I read white.

Candy

"I'm a heartless man at worse, babe
and a helpless one at best"
"And I'm often false explaining
But to her it plays out all the same
And although I'm left defeated
It gets held against my name..
I know you got plenty to offer
But I guess I've taken quite enough
Well, I'm some stain there on your bed sheet
Your my diamond in the rough"



All the angels and their halos...
all they do is keep me waiting..
and waiting....

A song to describe you

....I finally figured it out.


Candy by Paolo Nutini.


You know who you are..

Sunday, September 20, 2009

=]

When I was five years old my mother always told me that happiness is the key to Life…

When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I wrote down “HAPPY” they told me I didn’t understand the assignment.

I told them they didn’t understand LIFE.

Shawn Spencer..lol

"I'm making a quick list of things that completely suck, yet millions of people seem to think that they're legit. Just because a lot of people like something, that doesn't mean it's good, in case you guys didn't know.

Warped Tour fucking blows. Every band on it sucks. I think once a year there might be one or 2 bands TOPS that are somewhat tolerable to watch, but for the most part, you need to have an IQ of 80 or lower in order to appreciate watching the same band 75 times. Like honestly, people still listen to pop punk/screamo/electronica/breakdown nonsense? Bands like 30H3 are so embarrassing, that I'm ashamed to have been living in Denver for 2 weeks this year. Otherwise I love that city.

Zach Efron sucks. I admit he is better looking than me, but that doesn't excuse him for living a life dedicated to complete faggotry. Every single Disney film he has been in is an embarrassment to the human race. In other words, I'm embarrassed to be a human being because of his movies.

Twitter fucking sucks. Every single person on myspace has their twitter URL as their username, and to be that is a sign of the end times. I recently made a Twitter, but simply for the sake of either updating you guys on something extremely amazing or funny, or for telling a joke. If you have over 10,000 people following you on Twitter but you aren't actually famous and happen to be reading this, please delete me from your friends list and never talk to me again. You are pathetic."

this kid is funny =]
oddly...everything is true.
yeah unfortunately Efron is hotter
and whats up with all your tatts kid? theyr kinda random...but okay?
not like you or anyone ever reads these....

I may not look like much..

in progress...an utterly captivating car crash

Your my sunshine, your my moonlight

Uh,
Fresh to def she is
From her steps to the set she is
So "death" might not let me live
Ya dig
Fresh uh huh, yes she is
Had a feeling that it would be a day like this
The orchestra in my mind don't play like this (naw),
But I'm prepared for it
Got a lil rare for it
Brushed off my airs
Even cut my hair for it
Cause normally I don't care for it
Don't even be looking for like, like that
Then there go it
Yea right over there so I prepare the poet
Lil scared my stair lowered
Momma said have no fear
Plus I'm already outta my chair
God love my airs on my square from here forward
It's nothing right so here go it
Whisper in her ear "it's kinda crowded in here"
Would she care to blow it she said "yea"
You're my sunshine,
You're my moonlight,
You're the starry skies above me won't you please come down and hug me,
Think I found love in this club tonight
Never met her before
But I think I like her like a metaphor
It's hard to get in the car we sit
From the intro she rolled down her window just in case I was a skitzo
I compliment her on the common sense
I'm calm
A lil more confident (Uh Huh)
And then we lose consciousness
She says "that I've been waiting for you"
And I know you've been chasing me too since they kidnapped me from a castle
I been thinking of you
I told a fire breathin dragon he bet not harm me" or be sorry when he meets my one man army"
And thou has come to rescue me
My knight in shining armor yes you be
Woken up by the horn of an SUV
I said "see, too beautiful to let you sleep"
Relationship is just 30 minutes long
It's kinda heavy maybe a lil strong
Gonna take much more than once
Can't trust what each of us say at least for a month
Or two before I bid you a due
Do this one thing for me outta the trillions of numbers that's in the world
Just leave me a few that lead to you
Won't be longing I see you in the morning
..Your my sunshine.
<3

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Friday, September 18, 2009

Our epitaph

My dearest friend,
if you don't mind,
I'd like to join you by your side.
Where we can gaze at the stars.
And sit together now and forever.
For it is plain as anyone can see.
We're simply meant to be
Here lies the destiny of two hurt souls afraid to be cured again.. that could be our epitaph.


Just don't let me down.........

The taste of ink, it's getting old...

She doesn't care what you do. Say. Think. It doesn't matter. Get it thru that head of yours. Its pointless to waste energy you'll never spend on her again.


Lost causes....need to be understood.


She was a termite eating away at your roots.






Forget. Forgive?


Think I need to heed my own warnings.

I'm gonna hate to see you go.....
Well, thats the 1st public service announcement of the day.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

WP too complicated for you;

Some terms for you horse idiots out there, don't be offended. Your just stupid. =].

WP- Western Pleasure. WP evaluates horses on manners and suitability of the horse for a relaxed but collected gait, cadence and relatively slow speed of gait, along with calm and responsive disposition. The horse is to appear to be a "pleasure" to ride and very comfortable, while being very smooth
Jog-a western term for the two beat diagonal gait also known as a trot.
Lope-a three beat gait also known as an English canter.

Most of the focus in WP horse today is in the hind end, not so much the front end, but today balance is important, you ideally should have a horse that is deep and slow behind and pretty in the front...12 years ago (and much further back it was like that for a while) it was all about the front end - everyone wanted a horse that had "flat knees" and was just a real pretty mover in the front. No cared much about the back end as long as the horse could lope slow.

The back half:
Then about say 8 or 9 years ago WP became all about "the hind end" and it got to where you could have a horse that was not real refined in the front at all and no one would care too much as long as the horse drives up deep under itself in the back. A way to spot a really deep mover is to watch the split between the two hind legs - usually the wider the split the better. The more the horse is reaching up under itself with it's "balance leg".

The balance leg is the leg the horse uses to balance almost all of its weight on in the lope stride. It's the second beat. As I see it, if your horse is driving deep up under itself with its "drive leg" (the other hind leg and the first lope beat) it can reach that balance leg up under itself further - that motion, the swinging of that hock, should be smooth rhythmic and the hock itself should exhibit very little flexing movement. Today I believe today we are moving towards a much more balanced and pretty horse. Focusing on the front and the back of the horse. Most horses specially bred for WP will exhibit this movement will little coaching from a trainer.

Slow legs:
Another quality that is desirable and exhibits is that he is slow legged. This doesn't only mean that he is moving slow it means that his feet stay on the ground longer and his legs move to their next positions in the stride in a slow manner. It's not rushed and not quick. A nice side effect of a slow legged horse that is collected and balanced, is that they are light footed. As they lope on by you sitting in the stands you can hardly hear the hoof falls. If a horse is heavy on his front end or unbalanced you can hear that horse go thundering by.

Learning how to see it:
I've only learned these things by watching a lot - a lot of horses. You have to develop an eye for it. When I was in my art program in college our instructors would make us go out and to gallery reports once a week. It was their theory that if you expose yourself to good art enough you'll develop an eye for it - not only will you be able to spot it easier but it will eventually start coming through you. That's I how feel about WP once you develop an eye for the things that make a winning WP horse you can spot a good one more easily.

The reason for "slow" - in my opinion:
People are always arguing and asking me why WP horse have to be so slow. WP horse are slow because of a couple of reasons - one, theoretically is that a slower horse is a pleasure to ride. A horse that you have to speed up is far less of a hassle that one you have yank on all the time to get it to slow down. A slow horse shows off how easy it was ride - they threw in some slack in reins in demonstrate how easy and pleasurable their horse was to ride, how collected they can get them with NO to little mouth contact (Look MA! No hands). Two, originally it increased the difficulty level, if you two horses that are collected pretty movers - the slower one will win. It is generally more difficult to move in a pretty way and keep the gate collected and true slowly than it is with more forward motion. It requires more strength and talent on the horse's part. Slower horses won and we breed and train for what wins - so WP horse got slower and slower and slower. And also lastly - a slow lope and jog for that matter showcases the horse's movement better than a quicker one. We have these gorgeous horses with these beautiful gates - people who breed for and train and show WP horses - want to see them. We all know our horses look best at a certain speed, doing certain things - for Hunt Seat horses it's an English trot - for western pleasure horses it's a slow lope.

Crab loping - head bobbing - peanut rollers:
In my opinion a horse should be shown at the speed which it looks best at - for some WP horses it's a little faster than others, slow is not everything anymore. The industry gets in trouble when people try to make their horses go slower than they are designed to go - that's when you see the artificial looking gates, the horses who are terribly canted towards the inside - loping around the arena like crabs - and really bad bobbing heads. In all fairness though - some horses have such a dramatic drive from behind that they have to left their head and neck up slightly during each stride, sometimes speeding the horse up does not fix this. A judge with a trained eye can see if the horse is head bobbing because it is unbalanced, lame, or if it's bobbing because the horse is stepping so deep up under itself that it has to. With modern bred WP horses their conformation almost demands that they carry their head and neck that way. The peanut rollers are a thing of the of the past and were another by-product of the ---- your horse won and all I see different is a low head, so I will make my horse's head even lower---mentality. Occasionally I see tired WP horses with lower heads and necks than what is allowed (the rule states that the tips of the ears cannot drop below the horse's withers for more than either 3 or 4 strides.. a judge has to see it and count strides from when he spotted it to give a penalty.

Not all WP horses are this refined, slow and good movers and the way they carry their heads, but I'm seeing more and more of them, and they are what's winning. In my opinion - they are a little fragile. I have seen them get a stone bruise from the one single rock that in the arena and be out all season. Could you imagine a heard of these horses running at top speed over uneven ground? TRAINWRECKKKK and unfortunately, I've seen this. BUT they aren't bred to do that - so it's debate for another day.

Conformation Faults
With western pleasure horses, I do see conformation faults being over-looked because the horse still can move good in spite of - or maybe because of the faults and win. I see a lot of steep shoulders with sometimes mismatched angles on the hip and pasterns, I see a lot of permanently hip high horses (which doesn't make sense to me at all cause that makes it harder for the horse to collect itself??) I see lots of bench knees, I see a lot what people call post hocked horses (when the hock is pretty straight with little to no set in it) this is actually kind of a desirable trait for pleasure horses as long as the hock is not parked too far out behind them - but I have seen horses with hocks that are "really out there" that move well and win anyway, so go figure. I also see a lot of cow-hocked horses, I see some horses with long backs and I see a lot of horses with toes in or toes out and most people will generally ignore these faults as long as the horse is a good mover and the faults don't interfere.

Most performance horses of any kind today are just going to have different conformation than a Halter horse, that's a given - so I am not judging the industry here. Halter horses aren't exactly bred to do anything other than stand there and look pretty - they have their own issues of lameness, temperament and such so they are in no position to judge either.

Soundness:
What I have a problem with is soundness - in my opinion, because of continuously over looking certain conformation faults (and our ability to correct some at birth so you never knew they were there to begin with) and our inclination to breed what wins, because it wins - I believe I am seeing and increasing number of Western Pleasure horses (note I didn't say ALL) with lameness issues. From hock problems to front end problems. Now granted some of our soundness issues may come from training practices, and maybe even just from asking the horses for this super demanding gate all the time.

some bands =] and their bomb songsss

SONG...then the artist(band)

Dont Make Me So Mad- The Vincent Black Shadow
Pushback- Another Cynthia
Hate To See You Go- The Color Fred
Candy- Paolo Nutini

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The energy to create change...

Think about your direct bodily experience in life. No one can lie to you about that. How many hours a day do you spend in front of a television screen? A computer screen? Behind an automobile screen? What are you being screened from? How much of your life comes at you through a screen, vicariously while you sit and watch. Is watching things as excited as doing things? Do you have enough time to do all the things you want to? Do you have enough energy to?Do you think for yourself, independently, or do you take others' word for truth? How often do you find yourself repeating something you heard another say without it having any bearing on your personal experience; your personal truth? How many hours a day do you sleep? How are you affected by standardized time, designed solely to synchronize your movements with those of billions of other people? How long do you go without knowing what time it is? Who or what controls YOUR minutes and hours? The minutes and hours that add up to your life. How do you feel in large crows of anonymous masses? Do you find yourself blocking your emotional responses to other human beings? Can you put a value on a beautiful day? How many dollars an hour salary does it take to stay inside and sell things or file papers for someone else? What will you get later that will make up for this day in your life? How many days have you given to such things? (years?!?) Do you have ideas or do ideas have you? Who prepares your meals? Do you ever eat by yourself? Do you ever eat standing up? How much do you know about what you eat and where it comes from? Do you trust it? Of our many time and labor saving devices, do you find yourself with more time or ironically less than ever? Is it even possible to "save" time? They're buying your happiness from you Steal it backHow are you affecting by being moved around in prescribed paths, in elevators, buses, subways, highways, and sidewalks? By moving, living and working in two- and three-dimensional grids? How are you affected by being organized, immobilized, and scheduled...instead of wandering, roaming freely and spontaneously? How much freedom of movement do you have- freedom to move through space, to move as far as you want, in new and unexplored directions? How often are you waiting? Waiting in line, waiting in traffic, waiting to eat, waiting for the bus, waiting for the bathroom- -learning to punish, ignore and control your spontaneous urges? How do you feel when you suppress your desires, when you delay or deny yourself pleasure? Do you ever need to be around nature? Have water, leaves, foliages, and animals been replaced by your pet, aquarium, and houseplants? Do videotapes of yourself and your friends fascinate you, as if somehow you are more real in image then in life? Would a movie about your life be interesting? How do you feel about the non-stop barrage of audio, visual, print, billboard, computer, radio, and robotic voices that guide you through a forest of advertisements? What do they want from you? How often does your happiness come in conjunction with buying something? Do you feel like without the mainstream stimuli that you will miss something? Will you? Does it make you tired reacting all the time instead of thinking on your own? When was your last true moment of silence....not white noise but pure silence? Have ever asked yourself these things? Do you feel violent impulses? Do you feel inexorably lonely? Are you really happy? Do you ever feel like you are going to lose control?

Do you have the energy to create change?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Another today;

And it's one of those today's where...I'm not mad at you. I don't even really know why I get mad....maybe it's because of the lack of communication. Which..btw I HATE. But what can you do?




And now waiting for everything
To fall into place
Waiting for everything to fall..

outers shawty bops*

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Untitled Finale

And that's what you are, a sad plastic fucking mess. Don't come to me with how you're tired, used up and just barely getting by.. because I would walk on by and not even kick you when your down, though you would deserve it because you are lower than the lowest dog..but this is the part where I say good-bye and let the sands of time blow over us. You've never had to crawl, you've never had to see, what it feels like to be so trapped underneath the weight of someone's world, and now it comes crashing down on me. I was longing to be free, I put the bullet in you and me.

Monday, September 7, 2009

I wish I never met you

Fuck the world. I don't care about anything.

Boys like you are a dime a dozen.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

This gravity

Something always brings me back to you.. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone. I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down...

Saturday, September 5, 2009

For good;

I’m taking a ride off to one side its a personal thing where when I can’t stand up in this cage... I’m not regretting, I don’t need a better thing..I’d settle for less. It’s another thing for me I just have to wander through this world alone. I'd stop before you fall into the hole that I've dug here and I'd rest..even as you're starting to feel the way I used to..I don’t need a better thing just to sound confused..don’t talk about everyone I'm not amused by you. Cause if I’m gonna lose you I'm gonna lose you for good.

The honorary title;

Doesn't seem that selfish? No, not in the least..what's so self-rightous about this curiousity? This want for a meager exchange? So much time has passed but still it remains. This need for you is a reoccurring theme in my life. Don't you think I'm lonely, just eager to complete this story. Confused and still haunted with why you'd start over and ignore me. It takes time to realize the other side of you...that's controlling blind in hindsight of our lives. Want nothing more than to catch your eye...would you be impressed with how far I've climbed without your assistance? With you nowhere in sight...They say you're sick and there's a name and a phrase to apply and help explain still having trouble trying to separate....how you....
There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days. There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon. There are sailing ships that pass all our bodies in the grass. There are things we can't recall, blind as night that finds us all. There are names across the sea, only now I do believe.. Sometimes, with the windows closed, he'll sit and think of me.


Some they saw in me innocent poetry
Some, some say they’ll never be certain
But still it’s been written, a history of lovers
Given and taken in ink

Thursday, September 3, 2009

totally and completely subjective

my moods really are subjective lmao. i realize today, i for fuck sure dont feel how i did yesterday.



fuck you and your life.

stupid depressed fucks.
it takes time to realize.